Take that, Simon Cowell!

Brown's 'Ivy Idol' delivers a CD-load of talent

by Wendy Y. Lawton

Hollywood hit campus last week with ballad-belting divas and campy crooners and sashaying sopranos strutting the Salomon Center stage. No matter that the pop stars included a Ratty cook, a DNA researcher, a fundraiser, a data entry clerk, two administrators and several secretaries. The hall was packed. And the applause was lusty.

The occasion was the first-ever "Ivy Idol" competition, the University's true-life takeoff of "American Idol." The wildly popular reality TV show scouts a collection of amateur singers, then puts their talent to the test in front of a live audience. Three judges critique each singer's pipes and presence. Viewers vote for favorites by phone, a process of elimination that sparks public displays of tears and triumph.

The Fox show has launched the careers of several minor celebrities and spawned a concert tour, a video game, a line of perfume, even a Barbie doll. Angela Hilliard hoped the buzz would spice up the seminars, public service projects and communal feasting that make up Staff Development Day, held this year on June 15.

"We wanted to get people excited," said Hilliard, Brown's manager of employee programs and a Staff Development Day planner. "We were going for fun."

Organizers delivered. In fact, "Ivy Idol" was often eerily similar to the original.

Auditions were held. A stage manager was recruited. So was a host. Tim Thorp, who spends his days teaching computer classes, adopted the sunny SoCal persona of "Idol" emcee Ryan Seacrest. Thorp even recruited a stylist to coif his hair. "Half a tube of gel," reported Debra-Lee Hagopian, who, when she isn't styling, oversees personnel and finances for the development office.

But the height of "Idol" verite were the judges.

Development Associate Rod Echols (left) ditched his tie and liberally used "yo" to transform himself into hipster Randy Jackson. Alumni Relations Vice President Lisa Raiola (center) arrived in leopard-skin slingbacks, tight jeans and skimpy metallic top to cut a close approximation of faded pop singer Paula Abdul.

Then, of course, there was Simon.

The arguable star of "Idol," Simon Cowell is notorious for merciless commentary that regularly reduces contestants to tears. Walter Hunter (right) got the part - and embraced it. The vice president for administration bought a black T-shirt (Cowell's sartorial signature) for the occasion and carried a list of the bad-boy Brit's most infamous insults. A sample: "My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't."

Hunter proved a kinder, gentler version of Cowell, but he got a few barbs in. His best: "And I thought I was supposed to be the scary one."

As for the aspiring idols, they proved that Brown has some serious homegrown talent. Performances included soul (Dionne Montgomery), a cappella rhythm and blues (Denise Wolk and 11-year-old daughter Ashley), gospel (Sounds of Brown), country and western (Kelly Cleveland), show tunes (Carole Costello) and various shades of pop (Donna Loiselle, Erica Eccleston and the duet of Ray Trinque and Rosanne Neri). Donna Mitchell sang a love song she penned herself.

The event also proved that Brown has some homegrown hams. Costello borrowed a feather boa and sashayed her way through a number from the hit musical "Chicago." With every shoulder shake, the crowd erupted. And as Montgomery grooved through "Heard It Through the Grapevine," she worked the crowd like a pro. "Come on Brown University," she called out. "Harvard don't have nothin' on us."

When the singers were silent, the audience voted using palm-sized digital devices cribbed from Computing and Information Services. When Thorp stepped up to announce the results, silence fell. Third place: A tie! Donna Loiselle and Sounds of Brown! Second place: Dionne Montgomery!

And the Ivy Idol? Kelly Cleveland!

The 29-year-old DNA researcher's pitch-perfect rendition of Patsy Cline's "Sweet Dreams" wowed the crowd - and even made Hunter gush. On the real "Idol," Cleveland would've scored a record deal. Jan Phillips, chair of Staff Development Day, said a contract wasn't in the budget.

"But we do have lots of ivy," she said. And there was plenty of the plant spilling out of Cleveland's gold-plated trophy. So how does she feel about having a public? "Well, I guess I'll have one," she said, "on Thayer Street."