We value children highly in society, but we do not follow through with consistent action on their behalf. There is an urgent need to change their cynicism and their debilitating lack of spirit. Parents, teachers and community members who have a vested interest in successfully rearing the next generation must create what sociologist Francis Ianni calls a "youth charter," which spells out - for child and adult alike - the common moral values held by each group so that young people run into the same high expectations of behavior wherever they go.

Youth charters help communities recapture their "moral voice." The modern disinclination to lay moral claims has been at the heart of our failure to maintain communities that could provide protection and guidance for today's young people. We hesitate to take responsibility for other people's children, and we harbor few expectations that others should watch out for ours. Moreover, we rarely show children that we expect them to assume responsibility for the welfare of others in their community. Our points of reference concerning children's well-being have become increasingly internal. We ask whether children are comfortable, overburdened and overstressed, whether they are feeling good about themselves. We are becoming unaccustomed to asking whether they are being responsible, whether they are contributing something to the world. We are hesitant to foist "guilt trips" on them. If we were truly concerned for their well-being, we should not be hesitant to withhold our moral sensibilities for them.

Articulating a community's moral voice helps children find the guidance they need to form their own perspectives. A community's moral voice communicates expectations to all its members. Communities that expect nothing of their children will see them grow with stunted standards, poor self-control and little or no social responsibility. Communities that hold strong expectations for their children will see them grow with high standards, worthy aspirations, social awareness and a readiness to take responsibility for their behavior.

But whose morals do we select? It's not that hard. Despite our polarization, as a society we do share a set of common goals and expectations for our young. We hope they are kind, decent, respectful, honest, fair and responsible. We hope that they are competent and self-controlled. We must believe that it is our duty as elders to help them become this way.

And just because even the most divisive forms of debate are generally legitimate in a democratic society does not mean that everything is always up for grabs. The standards that encourage young people to acquire character and competence, to achieve their full intellectual and moral potentials, are not up for grabs. There may be variations around the edges, but we should not act as if our adult society is torn over the basics.

A constructive youth charter adheres to three general principles:

• The expectations must come from a variety of sources. Whenever possible, parental messages should be bolstered by extended family, teachers, peers, neighborhood mentors, sports coaches, churches and so on. The multiple expressions will have a cumulative influence that is far more powerful than that from any single source. Not only will the multiple expressions enhance one another's credibility, but they also will help the youngster understand the various ways moral aims may be pursued.

• Parents, teachers, peers and others should advocate roughly similar goals and expectations for their young. Core consistency is the essence of a constructive youth charter.

• A community must express its moral voice in ways that build bridges to the interests and abilities of its youth. Only in this way can effective socialization of young people be accomplished. Building bridges means communicating standards in a manner that young people can understand, engaging young people in compelling activities and experiences that reflect these standards, and conducting relationships with young people in a manner that embodies these standards.