Amicitia Optima: Original Prose in
Imitation of Cicero’s De Amicitia

Rebecca J. O’Connor

Unum semen amicitiae ab admiratione crescat. Nam cur amicum quaeras nisi videbis in eo aliquid studii de quo vis cognoscere et etiam fortasse tangere et participare tu ipse. Ac fortasse genus optimum amicitiae hoc est: illud in quo quisque alterum admiratur tantum ut admirator gratus est alterum colere societatem consentire. Neuter igitur consentiret cum altero si diceret eum ipsum esse felicissimum. Itaque uterque pergit putare ipsum secretum calidum habere intus. Idem amantium quoque potest esse verum—utrique credendum est ut mirabilior sit alter. Enim si uterque consentiret ut unus esset melior is aut relinqueret peiorem aut faceret eum servum. Et sane dicas societatem posse esse in qua duae personae putent se aequos esse semper atque in omni re. Sed ubinam scintilla incitamentumque in hoc sunt? Hic tamen est aspectus qui in mente agendus est: inter amicos veros quamquam haec admiratio alte attollitur est nullum certamen causa perveniendi ad notam alterius. Amicus temptet dignum altero esse (ut percipit pretium) sed nec excedere nec superare. Dolus autem fati est ut fortasse amici aequi principio sint atque ita inveniant hunc amicissimum. Si fatum genuit alium animum similem tuo—cum consensione caritate voluptate virtute sapientia—qui delectet in participando opportunitates adversaque tua, fortasse non est admiratio huius amici sed vos ipsos esse, et sensus fortunae non est ille consequendi praemium immerito sed ut tam fortunatus fueris ut inveneris alterum eundem creatum simillimum tibi.

One seed of friendship may grow from admiration. For why else would you seek a friend than if you found something of interest in them about which you yourself wish to learn and perhaps even be able to touch and share. And perhaps one of the best types of friendships is this: that in which each person admires the other so greatly that they feel blessed that the other would consent to create this relationship. Therefore neither would agree with the other if he said himself to be more lucky, and so each continues thinking himself to have a warm secret inside. The same thing may be true of lovers also—that they each must believe the other is more wonderful. For if they both agreed that one was better, the better would either leave the worse or make a slave of him. And perhaps you say a relationship could exist in which two people think themselves to be equal at all times and in all things. But where is there the spark or thrill in this? Yet another aspect to be pondered is this: although admiration is held high with true friends, there is no competition for reaching the other’s mark. A friend may attempt to be worthy of the other (as they perceive the other’s idea of worth), but not to surpass or outdo. Fate’s trick, however, is that perhaps the friends were equal to begin with, and so that is how they found this best friend. If Fate has designed another soul like your own (with tenderness, caring, pleasure, virtue, and wisdom), who joys in sharing your pleasures and sorrows, then maybe it is not the admiration of that friend but of your mutual existence, and the feeling of luck is not that you have won a prize undeservedly, but that you were so fortunate that you found this other self created just like you.

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