Fresh from an extended 13-month expedition, Josiah Carberry
recently contacted colleagues and cohorts on campus to announce his
thirteenth sighting of a tufted puffin. The exact location of this long
anticipated discovery remains a mystery as we go to press.
Carberry has promised to reveal this closely guarded information (and
much more) on his next visit to campus on April 13th. Plans are now
underway.
Emails have been flying among Carberry Cohorts, Full Consorts, faculty
and a growing number of students developing a final schedule for the
April visit, events are rumored to include:
- The world premiere of a Carberry video which may or may not be
introduced by Tom Hanks and Goldie Hawn, and featuring Carberry
curator W. Chesley Worthington.
- A testimonial dinner which will not (as first discussed) feature
a menu of roasted tufted puffin under glass.
- A press conference which is unlikely to be attended by Bernard
Kalb and Helen Thomas.
- A major exhibit of Carberry items which could include Carberryâs
first baby tooth.
The campus security office is working closely with local police to assure
adequate crown control during Carberryâs visit. The United States Secret
Service has already visited Brown pending a final decision on President
Bushâs plans to skip a Middle Eastern visit in order to attend the festivities.
Hold the date. April 13, 2001.
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