Like many freshmen I came into Brown with many expectations of what my ideal college experience would be. One of my most fervent desires was to find a cohesive, supportive black community, much like the one I felt so excluded from in High School. I thought that finally, I would be a part of a community of Black folks who were committed to the practice of learning and scholarly inquiry. Ones who would not consider academic pursuits to be as outside the realm of what is considered “Black.” Unfortunately, When I arrived on campus in the fall of ’98, I was disappointed with the black community that I found here at Brown. While there were many amazing Black folks whom I had the pleasure of meeting during my first year at Brown, I didn’t get the feeling that a true sense of community existed among Black people here. Many of my classmates in ‘02 felt a similar disaffection for the Black community here, and so when we came back returned as sophomores, we made a collective effort to try to build the community we felt was lacking. here. Sophomore year led to a resurgence of activity within the Black community. Many positive changes happened during the first semester of our sophomore year. OUAP, which had been a largely ineffective, and inactive body during our freshman year, was injected with new leaders and new energy, spearheaded by two women who shared a commitment and a vision for a more vibrant Black community. here at Brown. The strength and vitality of OUAP penetrated other segments of the Black community: Harmabee House was filled to capacity while SOCA and BSU also boasted robust and active memberships. It seemed like the Black community was well on its way to becoming the strong collective that we always knew it could be. This positive thrust was halted almost overnight, by two emails.

The infamous “lists” as they are now called, served as signaled the beginning of a downward spiral. While I will not go into all of the details here, I will present a basic rundown of the event. The first email sent was essentially a ranked Black men on campus according to characteristics such as attractiveness and personality. This seemingly silly and innocuous email, which was sent from a dummy hotmail account to the entire black community, also contained a category called “Bitch Ass Niggas” and listed the names of three black males (Why is this important?) In retaliation, a group of males wrote a “list” ranking black females according to sexual performance, and sexual desirability, and overall attractiveness. This email was sent out to the entire black community, including as well as some alumni. Needless to say, this caused quite a stir within the community, resulting in a Black family meeting in Harambee house, which aimed to discuss ways in which our community could heal from the wounds inflicted by this event. It appeared that every single black student at Brown was in attendance at that meeting. It was quite powerful to see the beauty and strength of the black folks gathered together in that room, but it was quite sad to reflect upon the reason why we had been brought together. There was a lot of anger and pain in this meeting-- with vicious words been were hurled across the room and people bursting into tears. In a traumatic twist of the events, it was revealed that those who created the first list were among those who occupied leadership roles in OUAP. These women accepted responsibility for their actions and stepped down from their positions. This was a great loss, since these women were instrumental in helping foster the revitalization of the Black community. The email incident also served to diminish trust between members of the community. Moreover, it exposed the very real deep-rooted sense of mistrust and miscommunication that exists between black men and black women on this campus. This sense of mistrust is communicated in many of our interpersonal interactions. Proof of this can be found in the comments made by community members at recent symposia convened to address gender and or sexuality in the black community, such as the “Black Loveline” and the Interracial Dating forum.

This incident served as a critical turning point for the class of 2002 our class, and resulted in a widespread antipathy towards the black community. I would argue that this sense of antipathy had a negative impact on how we as a class interacted with the class of ’03, a group of dynamic individuals who nevertheless were unable not able to resurrect the community from the ruin our class had created. I am glad to say that I think the tide is changing that things are changing once again for the better within the Black community here at Brown. The fact that I am writing this article in the African Sun, which was last published last in our sophomore year, speaks to the new energy and vitality within the community. Members of the classes of ’04 and’05 have really stepped up to the plate and have made numerous positive strides towards rebuilding Black community both here at Brown and within the greater Providence community. Their efforts are laudable and will hopefully be sustainable.

However, in order to ensure the viability of these community-building efforts, however, it is imperative that the community is supportive. A potential pitfall facing the Black community (and of many other communities of color at Brown) is the tendency for leaders and active students to get burnt out quickly burn out. Since sophomore tend to It seems to be that primarily sophomores head the major organizations within the Black community often stretching themselves to the limits, while there There are a few juniors sprinkled here and there, along with a few first years, and almost no seniors. This creates a vicious cycle, which is extremely detrimental to the psychological health of active individuals, but also has negative consequences for the community insofar as it impacts the sustainability of community institutions. Those who work very hard to build community during their sophomore year often get burnt out and opt to either go abroad or take time off (or are forced to take time off due to academic reasons), leaving the next year’s sophomores to take the reigns of the organizations-- often without having received adequate mentoring in how to navigate the Brown system. Juniors are often abroad or taking time off, or are otherwise occupied often trying to recoup from an exhaustive sophomore year. Seniors tend to be preoccupied with moving forward beyond Brown (finding jobs, grad school etc.) leaving little time for participation in community life. However, if we agree that these institutions are important for sustaining and building community here at Brown, then it is imperative that we articulate ways that this vicious cycle be broken and the burden of the work be distributed more evenly among the classes. This way, our community may obtain maximum benefit from both the energies of underclassmen and the experience of upperclassmen.

There are also a few other issues I would like to briefly address, although each is worthy of its own article. It pains me deeply to look around and see the number of my brothers who started out as ’02 who will not be taking the march through the gates this May. I say this not to stigmatize these men. since I know that there are numerous reasons why people need to take time away from Brown and I understand that taking time away from Brown can make being here a much more productive experience. There are also plenty of other people who are not graduating on time besides black men, however, and I would argue that the issue feels more acute in the black community since the number of black men within the Brown student body is very small to begin with. Brown presents a very rigorous academic experience (particularly in the sciences and engineering) and the lack of retention of black men in these areas highlights the gaps in the academic advising and support structures of the university as well as within the Black community. Granted, there are numerous academic resources offered by available from the university, such as tutoring, and the academic resource center, and in addition to community based support systems like such as the MPC program. I think that a lot of folks feel uncomfortable accessing University resources because of stigma or shame, and the sense that accessing these resources is in some way an admission of academic inadequacy. While such feelings are often unfounded, they are a nevertheless real and can have a negative impact on help-seeking behavior. Sometimes people overcome these initial reservations about seeking help, but sadly, by this time an academic disaster has already been established and there is little that tutoring or extra help can do to ameliorate the situation. We as a community really need to start taking care of each other academically. in a much more concrete manner. Far too many folks have unnecessarily been placed on some type of academic probation, which we might be able to prevent via tutoring programs or more informal systems of academic help. More importantly, we must work to create a culture of openness within our community so that students do not bear their academic missteps in silence and solitude. Through this process, we can help more folks graduate on time.

Another area in which I think the community needs serious improvement is the way in which we talk about sexuality and gender relations in our community. As indicated by the level of discussion I’ve witnessed at Black Loveline and Interracial Dating forums, we need to fundamentally re-conceive of the norms we have about sexuality—primarily opening ourselves to the many experiences of sexuality within our community. surrounding discussing these issues. Time and time again, I have witnessed discussions concerning love, manhood, and sexuality revolve around the assumption that everyone present was heterosexual. This left me feeling excluded and silenced at events that were supposed to be for me too—yet an entire experience of my life as a Black male was ignored or denigrated. . The sexist and heterosexist nature of these events is not due to the intended of by the organizers, but occurs because we do not push ourselves to address them. rather due to the low standards we have when discussing these issues. I would encourage folks (particularly heterosexual black men) in future discussions to really think deeply about how sexism and homophobia impact and are linked to racism. Moreover, it is important to consider sexism and homophobia when we engage in issues of love, sex, and manhood within our community. how we talk about these issues. In a larger sense we as a community must develop an understanding and appreciation of the diversity in sexuality that exists within our community. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered and Same-Gender Loving black people have contributed far too much to Black communities to pretend that our contributions are not significant or important. Homophobia is a problem in our community, and it is disturbing to note that it seems that only those of us who are not heterosexual see it as such. Racism, sexism, homophobia and classism are interlocking systems of oppression and because of their interdependent nature cannot be combated independently of one another. Black people must come to realize that racism is not the only social ill facing the black community. Classism, sexism, and homophobia are real problems facing black people and other people of color, and require our collective energies in dismantling these oppressive structures.
While the nature of universities like Brown, and indeed the very nature of modern capitalist society promotes a particular individualistic ethos which makes building true communities a very difficult task, I think that the creation of “beloved community” here at Brown is eminently possible. With the new vitality that I see flowing through the Black community, I have hope that this ongoing process of community building will yield positive results.

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