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On an achingly humid day in August 2001, I ambled
down Charlesfield Street with three duffle bags and a heavy heart. My
sophomore year at Brown was about to begin, and I was moving into the
belly of the beast: Grad Center Tower A’s ground floor. I swiped
my Brown card and came face to face with the bright-eyed, unshaven man
who was to become my guiding light for the next academic year.
“Hi, I’m Bill Cain,” he said. “Can I grab those for
ya?”
I had been briefed on Bill and his MO—my brother had occupied a
unit in Tower A. Bill was the nicest custodian; Bill was crazy, ma-an.
He once told Zack a story involving a red Corvette and a very impatient
naked woman from the Bronx. I grinned at Bill, handed over my bags, and
told him my last name.
I tracked Bill to Tower C and New Dorm, where he now spends his days
vacuuming, raking, scrubbing, and shooting the shit. What follows is the
“Best of Bill,” tempered by the friendly supervision of his
amiable manager, John Guglielmetti, who organized the chat.
Bill, in jangling keys, Facilities Management khaki, and a black hoodie,
enters conference room. MB and Guglielmetti are already seated at a large
oak table. Bill, eager to be interviewed, smiles shyly and offers an awkward
hug.
MBB: It’s good to see you, Bill. Can you tell me what the best part
of high school was?
BC: Hockey, man. I loved it. The teamwork, everything. We were in the
ProJo because we were the losingest team; we lost 20-nothing the time
we were in the paper. But it’s all about teamwork, y’know?
MBB: It is. What’s the most rewarding slice of your daily life at
Brown?
BC: For sure the interaction with students. I love saying hello, chatting
while I’m working, seeing what the kids are up to.
MBB: So where would you like to be right now? If you didn’t have
to be in Providence on a rainy Ash Wednesday, I mean.
BC: Well, I guess I’d still like to be working for Dunkin’ Donuts
in Connecticut. I was general manager and I had 60 people under me. I
was working with my brother.
MBB: Why’d you leave?
BC: I left in 1992. I guess we didn’t see eye to eye anymore.
MBB: It’s probably hard working with your brother.
BC: Yeah. It’s like Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner. I’m
a glutton for punishment.
MBB: Which actor do you most hate and why?
BC: Probably Martin Sheen, because of all his anti-war, anti-American
propaganda.
MBB: (sensing a polemical subject, confusing Martin Sheen with Robert
Duvall, and maybe just thinking about the Civil War because it’s
drizzling outside): Have you seen Gods and Generals yet?
BC: I’m gonna try and see it this weekend. I’m pretty excited.
My great-great-uncle was killed in Gettysburg, y’know.
MBB: How do you feel about this war, right now?
BC: Well, it’s personal to me. I’ve had a family member in every
war in this country except Vietnam. We as Americans try to do what we
can. I mean, look at France and Germany, and the headlines today [headline]:
we bailed France out of German occupation in World War II. My grandfather
fought in France in World War I. These are big, deep issues here. My cousin’s
in the Middle East right now. But I don’t know. My opinion depends
on whether force really needs to be used or not.
MBB: What about the Warwick fire? Did that affect you in a particular
way?
BC: Oh yeah. I wrote an article to the Smithfield Observer and they published
it; it was about the cameramen. He could have become a human being and
helped more people. He was the first one on the scene and he only helped
one person. Yeah, I knew two people through a friend and CCD at church.
A lot of people my age died, you know.
MBB: (nodding solemnly) Yeah, it’s tough. Let’s lighten it up
a little. What’s the best thing you’ve found in a dorm room
during summer closing?
BC: I turn everything in. John, you know, that one time I found a whole
computer. I just walked in and it was a laptop computer, sitting on the
desk. I guess they didn’t have any more room. It worked fine and
everything.
MBB: Jesus. Is there anything else you need to say in this article, Bill?
BC: Well, yeah. I enjoy working here. I think the East campus, where I
work, is one of the best places on campus. We got a good team, you know—teamwork,
and the summertime cleanups do a good job. And John’s a good boss.
(Guglielmetti shrugs, smiles.)
Epilogue:
Guglielmetti bade us goodbye, and Bill and I walked out into Vartan Gregorian
Quad together. Bill lit up at the opportunity to “really catch up,”
and I asked him one more question.
MBB: I wanted to talk about a lot more stuff. Can you just tell the story
about seeing the Ramones in New Haven?
BC: Yeah, oh God. I was like 19 or 20 or 21 or somethin’, and we
drove all night to this place called, uh, Toad’s Place in New Haven.
MBB: What year was it?
BC: It was the 80s, Molly.
MBB: And then you got really trashed and puked on the way home.
BC: (grinning sheepishly) Yeah.
MBB: Anything else?
BC: I tell ya, if I was 20 years younger, the things I could do.
Molly Boyle B’03 dresses better than Barbie.
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