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What Would Jesus Drive?
SUVs reconsidered
. . . by Arthur K. Nguyen
[photos courtesy of various car manufacturers]

Despite rising fuel prices, higher insurance rates, dwindling exclusivity, and even troupes of granola-vandals armed with “socially unacceptable vehicle” stickers, light trucks outsold cars by 211,303 vehicles in 2002. And while the light truck designation includes both pickup trucks and minivans in addition to sport-utility vehicles, the latter category clearly counted for the majority of those sales—25 percent of all passenger vehicles sold in 2002 were SUVs.

Jesus rides a bike
Yes, SUVs are a social phenomenon, but the guilty demographic may not be as easily identified as many imagine. In fact, unlikely bedfellows appear on both sides of the issue. At the website http://whatwouldjesusdrive.org, the Evangelical Environmental Network (EEN) enlists the savior Himself to support their decidedly anti-SUV stance, because “transportation is a moral issue.” The site provides statistics and factoids that effectively blame the SUV boom for everything from spikes in childhood asthma rates to increased risk of malaria and yellow fever (vis-a-vis global warming) in underdeveloped countries. All of a sudden, the trophy cars of the upper-middle class are just as unappealing to the Christian right as they are to guerilla environmentalists.

Most anti-SUV arguments, however, lose a great deal of legitimacy by ignoring recent trends in SUV-making and the automotive industry in general. The chain effects suggested by the EEN most likely do exist, but the facts listed on their website are somewhat outdated and set the discussion back by at least a decade. For example, the current 22-year low in passenger vehicle fuel economy isn’t due solely to the increased number of SUVs, but also to the appearance of larger, more powerful engines across the automotive spectrum.

Seeing the green light
More importantly, federal laws that allow light trucks to release 75 percent more smog-forming emissions than cars have not stopped auto manufacturers from making SUVs more environmentally friendly. Companies as diverse as Ford, Honda and Lexus are planning to release or have already released hybrid-fuel, “green” SUVs. And all three of Honda’s current SUVs already qualify as low-emissions (LEV) or ultra low-emissions vehicles (ULEV) in all American states and Canada.

These ratings are becoming more common among SUVs largely because the current movement in SUV development emphasizes the vehicles’ more car-like qualities, including the use of car-based drivelines and engines, better on-road handling, and, yes, better fuel economy. The new Nissan Murano, for instance, which shares a corporate chassis and engine with the Altima sedan, is little more than a weird-looking station wagon on stilts.

Safety is another area of concentration, most likely in response to the mid-90s Isuzu Trooper rollover scare. Volvo’s new XC90 (a Volvo SUV?! yes!) faces down that threat not only with an electronic rollover prevention system, but also with “curtain”-style side airbags that protect its passengers’ heads if a rollover does occur. And newer SUVs take into account the safety of other drivers as well; since 1998, Mercedes’ M-Class has ridden on a relatively low platform that collapses downward in the event of a frontal collision, so that the SUV won’t ride over the top of a regular passenger car. More mainstream SUVs, like Toyota’s Highlander, are following suit.

What Would Jesus Drive?
This widespread metamorphosis implies that SUVs are not really SUVs anymore—the buzzword is “crossover vehicle”—at least not compared to the traditional image of a fat-tired squarish monstrosity cutting up a muddy trail. Today’s SUVs are still far from innocuous, but many of the characteristics that once made them so objectionable have become much less prominent. If the aforementioned Highlander is easier to see around, uses less fuel and is generally safer than the very Shuttle-’n’-Escort minivans that drive us home every night, then why are the vans not getting the condemning sticker as well?

Now the question is less about environmentalism and road safety and more about image and excess—imagine Ja Rule stepping out of a huge Cadillac Escalade with 22-inch chrome wheels and Hella lights on the roof, or a suburban housewife who “needs” her BMW X5 to cart around three spoiled kids and their soccer balls. Like any other consumer fetish that slowly becomes ubiquitous (premium jeans, gourmet food), the only way to differentiate between products is to add luxury.

If there is anything objectionable about current SUVs, it’s this tacking on of useless features, often in tasteless and gaudy ways, which is particularly offensive in a vehicle of such utilitarian origins. Maybe the more appropriate question was asked by Automobile editor-in-chief Jean Jennings, who titled her March 2003 editorial “What Would Satan Drive?” No, he wouldn’t stop at the huge gas-guzzling engine; he’d add the satellite radio and navigation system, panoramic sunroof, DVD player, automatic air suspension—you get the picture.

Arthur Nguyen B’03 is, in fact, an SUV himself: Single White Female!

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