The College Hill Independent

The List
. . . by Dan Stowell

Exclusive In-ter-vu

Hey, Dan, how's it going?

Terrible. I smoked some pot at an In-ter-pol show and went blind. Then the Indy censored my column because I made fun of white people.

Man, fucking white people. I told my therapist I was racist and she made me take laxatives and watch BET until I shat myself.

Me too. Mine made me protest the war, too.

Why? That has nothing to with anything and it makes my stomach bleed out my eyes. Ow!

She told me I would feel better about myself and that I might meet some people to fuck. I like fucking.

I love you, Dan Stowell. I want to get pregnant with you and bear children out my ass.

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