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Through my cuticles
is
green blood
not just
newscasts, look me
straight in the eye and
tell me
mister
look me straight in my
green eyes and
tell me
an aesthetics of
death and
simplicity
the sand that was under
Mark’s trampoline
who enrolled
to pay for college
he held me
as I shook through a
8th grade gym dance
when I had mono and was
scared of girls
then last year I was scared of
dead men jet-streamed
through a nauseous sky
suddenly the system enlarged
piracy conspiracy of
how did we get here and even the air
is untraceable
blood green like my
eye-balls
an aesthetics of sand
and green and
the reality of crimson
a green sun that
hits and shadows in
crimson
“maybe I’ll
see you again
I’m driving the 8 hrs to Canada
to look for my anonymity”
the person
flesh-colored
his shadow
blood
and crimson
the sweat of Nantucket
with its money and
eroticisms
Mark in 1998,
hands down my pants
and envious tongue
I am digging at cuticles
looking for the blood
finding an aesthetics
of crimson dyes the sand
Look me straight in
the eye now
Is it that you’re looking for America?
Because history is that vague?
and our narrative holds a place for
subject-deletion?
I am not looking for
the truth
I am looking for my life
my friends my guts
I am looking for the crimson
that shadows fatigues
he held me
as I shook through an
9th grade Christmas dance
I was
stunning then and I
moved in towards him
his tie was
a color whose language
was lost when I moved here
which is to say that
a recent shift in language
has reconfigured the palette of
my memory
into
War Crimes Will be
Tried.
there is no place
in my memory
for this future
my language is out-running context
looks for ambiguities
the green blood
and fatigue
the try and test of
a torture I see
in colors
the steady pixelation of my memory
Where is my blood
now
Mister
Where is my blood now
Look me
Straight in the eye and
Tell me
Mister
Mister
Look me straight in my
Green eyes and
Tell me
What my death means
to you
How do I buy back the dead ones
Tell me
How do I buy
my heart back
tell me if
Mark will be able
to get
gas
because all I can
feel is
drive
how if I could I would
help him
drive out faster.
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