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Mike It's weird: my sports life is lying in shards at my bloody feet, and yet I feel somehow serene; or at least disconnected. Even when I found out that McNabb will be gone for at least 6-8 weeks, I never shouted or broke a lamp. I just kind of nodded knowingly at the computer screen. I think it's because the binary of possibilities linked to it is so unreal. To wit: it seems just as silly to think that the Eagles will make the playoffs as it does to think that they won't. Neither belief has any meaning for me whatsoever. So I float along, and come to the following realization: neck-beards win nothing. Nothing, Mike. Has anyone outside of Philly ever seen Koy Detmer's dance? Man, it's hot. The kid's got charm, certainly, and he actually might be a better quarterback than his flop of a brother. And seriously, the dance: after throwing a touchdown for the dismal Ray Rhodes-finale Eagles, he turned to Brett Favre's Green Bay sideline and pantomimed removing his belt, whipping it one once, and then slapping it back-and-forth while thrusting his pelvis. Best day of my life. Then I saw his neck-beard. The neck-beard negates the belt-whipping: we can't in San Fran on Monday Night. This past Sunday night, Mike, the Sixers were in first place in the Atlantic division. Wow does that feel good to say. And I'll savor it, too, because the next time will be a long time coming. That's right: I'm on a rampage. T. Ted, I did the math-looks like we're headed for a Detroit vs. Philly first-rounder. Not sure how the Sixers hold up in a short series, especially with game 5 on the road, a la last year. I'm going with Detroit, but I'll lean Philly if Keith van Horn continues to play well. Preposterous, huh? It's mid-November in the NBA, and you're not a Knick fan. Enjoy yourself. Or, as David Stern says, Love It Live. Whatever that means. The early line on Philly-San Fran is 7 points. Puh-LEEZAGIBBONS. I love the Eagles to cover here, as should you. Everybody knows teams always pull together in the absence of a star, especially in their first lonely contest. Maybe Philly will even pull it out. I fear that result, combined with a shocking Giants loss in Houston on Sunday, will drive me to tears or, worse, to taunt maliciously at the Brown-PC Men's Hoops game down at the Dunk' on Saturday night. The Giants have hope, but we're not going anywhere. The Bears are 0-2, but I think we're going to the Big Dance. Should be quite a ride. -. Mike The whole pulling-together-to-make-a-run thing is an elusive beast. It is one of those ineffable events that happens only to "other" teams. Haven't you ever noticed that when the Rams got together to go 5-0, suddenly you didn't know a single Rams fan? That when the Steelers benched Kordell and started winning, suddenly you didn't know a single Steelers fan? These stories are myths, man. Spook stories. Besides, the Sixers have something like the worst record in NBA history without their star: before they went on a stretch run at the end of last year to make the playoffs without Iverson, they were something like 0 for their last 28 games without him. Myth. Mike, it's time for honesty, and I need to know: are people in LA panicking yet? Sure, Phil Jackson made an ingenious coping move by "predicting" the Lakers' basement start, but there's not a chance in hell he or anyone else in LA believed it. So the question is: are you guys still in denial? Is there still investment in the belief that nothing will matter when Shaq comes back? Because certainly, in a way, that's true; but in another, more accurate way, it isn't. At the very least, doesn't this bode terribly for Kobe historiography? He's going to keep jacking up 40 shots a night even after Shaq gets back just to prove that he can carry a team-which, it is abundantly clear at this point, he can't. All he can do is win the All-Star Game MVP by taking it way too seriously when everyone else was just having a good time. K-O-B-E, I L-O-V-E you. I think at this point Charon probably drives him home from the Staples Center every night. T. Ted, People in LA don't care about anything consistently-that's their defining trademark. And when it comes to sports, they just care less. It's not Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, or anything close to New York. There isn't much to say on this topic: sports just aren't very important to Angelenos. except for in late May when the Lakers are in the Finals and motorists stick flags on their car windows. As Bill Maher says about fighting the war on terrorism by putting an American flag on your car, "It's literally the least you can do." LA is an entertainment town. Naturally, then, when it comes to sports, the announcers are the ones who take center stage, who receive an admiration and genuine love usually reserved for players in other towns. The death of Chick Hearn was, arguably, more of an event for the city than the Lakers' last few championships. combined. Vin Scully with the Dodgers and the highly underrrated Bob Miller on the Kings: this, now, is sports in LA. And, as long as they're on the air, win, lose, or Shaq, there's nothing to panic about. Have fun with turkey. -. |
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Hill Independent
last updated 11 22 02
If Brett Zarda weren't such an athlete, he'd have to play pen