WIR

Week in Review

BY CRISTI LAQUER AND SAM COCHRAN

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Illustration by Hilary Falb
Animal

Mercury's Inferiority Complex

Stop what you're doing-now's the time to catch a rare glimpse of that infamous first planet in the solar system. Mercury, commonly dubbed an inferior planet to Earth due to the closer proximity of its orbit to the sun, has recently entered prime viewing location.

For only a short period of time, Mercury will be the second brightest object in the night sky after Sirius. In the coming week, it will climb the sky, growing paler and more difficult to detect without a telescope upon its ascent. Like Venus and the Moon, Mercury appears to go through phases of illumination. Whereas the planet was 86 percent illuminated at the beginning of March, that portion has declined nightly. As it creeps around the Sun it will become more crescent-shaped until finally disappearing around March 19th.

Of the five bright planets-Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars-Mercury is the most elusive to the naked eye. Up until the 15th century, it was mistaken for two separate planets-a theory disproved by Pythagoras. Viewed from Earth, Mercury lies in roughly the same direction as the Sun; by night, brighter stars usually drown out its weaker light.

Mercury now appears on the western horizon between the Pegasus and Gatus constellations roughly forty-five minutes after sunset. On a clear night Mercury can be viewed without a telescope from any location with a view of the horizon to the West.

-CL

Throw Another Blog On The Fire

According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 7 percent of American adults write blogs and 27 percent read them. Once thought a harmless preoccupation, blogs have become a source of professional strife for former Google employee Mark Jen and former Delta flight attendant Ellen Simonetti, both of whom were fired last week for their online activities.

What types of online behavior do employers consider inappropriate? Simonetti angered Delta authorities with provocative online photos of her in a Delta uniform in a company aircraft; Jen's writings, on the other hand, merely expressed his opinions about his workplace. Some companies such as Sun Microsystems have set explicit policies concerning employee blogs, and a debate is currently underway in the corporate world about whether such policies are necessary or useful given traditional standards of employee accountability.

While Google and Delta would not comment to the Associated Press about their respective former employees, Jen said he hoped his case would prompt a discussion between managers and employees about what is and is not acceptable to post in a blog. Simonetti maintains that other employees have used Delta's name and uniforms in personal ads and web postings, and she does not understand why she was singled out for termination.

Jen and Simonetti are only two of many whose blog activities have sparked controversy in the workplace. Heather Armstrong, a web designer, was fired for a posting titled: "Comments Heard In, Around, and Consequent to the Company Christmas Party Last Evening." Shortly after her 2002 termination, sympathetic bloggers coined a new term to describe losing one's job due to a blog-related incident - Jen, Simonetti and others like them have been "dooced."

-CL

Poignant Like Michael Bolton, But Without The Mullet

In a decision that can only further ingratiate him to the international community, President Bush nominated Undersecretary of State John Bolton to succeed former Senator John Danforth as U.S Ambassador to the United Nations on Monday. It is hard to imagine a finer candidate to act as the liaison between the United States and the United Nations than a man who in 1994 had this to say of the international body: "there is no such thing as the United Nations."

Bolton, 56, has earned a reputation for delicacy and tact since entering office in May 2001. In a speech last month in Tokyo, Bolton helped to facilitate negotiations between the US and China by publicly denouncing the Chinese government for its failure to prevent local munitions companies from selling missile technology to Iran and other rogue states. In a similar instance of diplomatic success, Bolton attacked North Korea on the basis of its nuclear weapons programs with words so poignant North Korea refused to negotiate with him. Talks between the two countries have since ended. Condoleezza Rice insists, ``He will be a strong voice for reform.''

Bolton-who, CNN reports, keeps a model hand grenade in his office-must be confirmed by the Senate before taking office.

-SC

The Secret Lives Of Farm Animals

At a conference to investigate animals' sentience scheduled to begin next week in England, scientists will report that many barnyard animals are capable of more complex mental activity than previously imagined.

According to a new study conducted by the Babraham Institute in Cambridge, sheep-often the recipients of harsh criticism for traveling in mindless herds-can individuate up to 10 humans or 50 other sheep, and can remember familiar faces for up to two years. What's more, sheep have a systematic response to facial expression, preferring smiles to frowns, and show signs of mourning the absence of other sheep.

Chickens, never before thought to possess any cognitive prowess, not only possess more spatial awareness then the average human baby, they can quickly master obstacle courses that involve opening doors and navigating mazes-tricks usually credited only to dogs and horses. Along with a high degree of self-control, chickens also demonstrate the ability to anticipate and expect, as proven by their willingness to delay eating in order to potentially gain a larger portion of food.

Other findings included discoveries about fish's memory capacity, parrots' aptitude for learning words, and elephant burial rituals.

Conference participants hope to encourage reform of the widely used factory farming system. Attending scientists and political delegates will discuss whether animal rights should be an issue of greater concern in coming years. Animal rights activists hope that scientific studies will prompt consumers to spend less money on animal products and, in turn, make politicians consider animal sentience in their policy reforms. Keynote speakers will include livestock investors from McDonalds. Stay tuned.

-CL

Damn Mina, Your Man Stinks

Something stinks in Iran. According to Mina, a 36-year-old woman from Tehran, it's her husband. Last week Mina filed for a divorce from her husband Reza on the grounds that he has not bathed for over a year.

According to court press reports, Mina offered the following testimony in proceedings this week: "He does not like water and does not want to take a shower. He doesn't even wash when he wakes up in the morning." This prolonged hygienic disregard came as a shock to Mina, who claims that Reza compulsively bathed when they first married. "He spent hours taking showers three times a day and washed his hands every few minutes. Suddenly he changed. Now nobody, including me, my children and his colleagues, can stand him." Mina lamented, "We cannot go to any parties. I feel so ashamed."

The case may set a legal precedent. In August 2003, the Iranian Guardian Council rejected a UN treaty to eliminate discrimination against women. Iranian law still treats women as second-class citizens and, subsequently, women exercise fewer rights in child custody and divorce hearings. Divorce codes specify that a woman seeking a divorce must offer proof that her husband has abused her, developed a drug addiction, failed to support her financially or neglected her sexually. Unfortunately for Mina, Reza-we can infer-hasbeen as sexually attentive as ever. According to the BBC, being smelly does not currently qualify as a valid reason for divorce.

The same is not true of the United States. Earlier this week, Denise Richards, under what can only be similar claims, filed for divorce against the rank, prostitute-frequenting actor Charlie Sheen.

-SC

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