On displacement and delusion in the The Life Aquatic

A belated debate on America's most divisive film

By Ben Arfmann and Doug Fretty

Moderator: Good morning, gentlemen. I hope you are well rested. I am Ezra T. Von Ruysdael, and I will be moderating today's debate on the relative merits of Wes Anderson's film The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. As you know, ever since the picture's Christmas release, the House Subcommittee on Discursive Activities has been knee-deep in telegrams requesting a formal hearing on this very subject. The film, it appears, has driven yet another schism through the heart of an already divided populace, America demands closure! David Bowie demands closure! Ahem. Mr. Fretty will argue the affirmative, Mr. Arfmann the negative. You know the rules, gentlemen. Stay within your time limit, cite your sources, and no ad hominems, for god's sake. Will the affirmative approach the podium?

1st Affirmative Constructive

Good morning. The affirmative stands Resolved that Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is a comedy of the highest quality that in no way disappoints the expectations of the discriminating public. The affirmative shall so demonstrate herewith.

Firstly, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou makes exemplary use of its high-profile cast. Far too many films that catapult a baker's dozen of household names onto the screen, like so many rotting tomatoes, waste the very talents that advanced the careers of their thespians in the first place. Mr. Anderson's casting, on the other hand, accentuates the strengths of his troupe. Willem DaFoe's Klaus draws the heartiest guffaws, by dint of the manic possibility of violence that lives in that actor's buggy eyes. The buggiest eyes, the affirmative contends, as a matter of course, belong to Jeff Goldblum, whose entire career has prepared him for the serpentine sleaze of Dr. Hennessey. And let us not forget Cate Blanchett; her modus operandi appears to be vanishing inextricably into the garment and accent of her character. According to Altman, Robert, 1993, "Ninety percent of filmmaking is casting."

The remaining ten percent, then, must be Bill Murray. I would extol at length the virtues of Murray's performance as Zissou, but I do not wish to waste the time of my prestigious colleague, who doubtless would agree with my assessment. I shall, therefore, at this time open the floor to cross-examination.

Cross-Examination

Arfmann: What is the affirmative's judgment on Mr. Anderson's previous films-being Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums?

Fretty: Mr. Anderson's masterwork is Rushmore, to be sure, though there exist myriad pleasures in even the most dissipated tracks of Tenenbaums and Bottle Rocket.

Arfmann: To be sure, to be sure... and have you any comment on the absence of Owen Wilson from the scripting of the film under consideration?

Fretty: Though Wilson's hand had left the page, the spirit of his wit endured.

1st Negative Constructive

To quote Michael Atkinson of the Village Voice, The Life Aquatic is "a collage of half-measures." Mr. Anderson has engaged in what can only be labeled here as "drek purveyance," hobbled by lack of narrative cohesion, absence of authentic character growth, and overall inattention to audience engagement. Stated plainly, and with much regret, the loss of Owen Wilson as a writing partner has caused Mr. Anderson to become unmoored from the rich emotional base that informed his previous film works. Left unchecked, the marvelous whimsy and under-cranked humor which colored both Rushmore and Tenenbaums has o'ertaken Aquatic and begun to feast, near cannibalistically, on the careers, talents, and good looks of the cast-Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, and Anjelica Housten most prominently among them. The film meanders thoughtlessly through 90 minutes of disconnected vignettes, apparently saving for its final 20 minutes a fevered race to launch, expand, and complete a host of neglected character arcs. The Life Aquatic is a failed work, lacking both the functional structure of Mr. Anderson's previous films and the emotional core that informed them.

2nd Affirmative Constructive

My esteemed opponent bemoans an alleged inadequacy of scriptwriting, attributable to Owen's Wilson's departure from pre-production. I would invite the negative to attend a screening of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou at his local movie house, and to count the number of audible comedio-sonic responses (that is to say, laughs) produced by the body-viewership (that is to say, audience). My sources suggest that such a figure would be significantly higher than the number of comedio-sonic responses elicited by the films that the negative holds in such dear regard, being Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums. My esteemed opponent also laments the picture's "lack" of an "emotional core." According to Black's Law Dictionary, vol. 13, 1871, an "emotional core" consists of "an anti-hero who commands the viewer's sympathies despite. his obvious flaws, a father figure who enters a love triangle with his would-be son, and a would-be son who perishes needlessly despite his mentour's [sic] best intentions." The personages of Steve Zissou and Ned Plimpton adequately meet this broad definition.

2nd Negative Constructive

Criticism of my esteemed opponent's second constructive offered here is likely self-evident; the inconsistency of his argumentation stands out in relief against the cold facts presented earlier by the negative. But I shall err on the side of caution. The proposed "comedio-sonic" scale is untenable-were such tallies at all reliable in assessing the net worth of a feature, the $79,535,490 grossing Are We There Yet would be classed at roughly 3.31 times greater in comedic value than the $24,020,403 Life Aquatic. (Though still under debate among political bodies, the "dollars equal speech" theory of equitation is one commonly accepted by film institutions and the so-called "movie-going public." Slightly modified for application here, I offer now the "dollars equal laughs" theory.) In our quest for the subjective worth of a feature film, we must necessarily ignore any rigid numerical assessment system. As to my esteemed opponent's citation of Black's Law Dictionary, I hardly need to remind this body of the 1871 edition's numerous, bald-faced errors (the circuitous, inappropriately cross-referenced, 20,000 word definition of "slack-jawed layabout" being a personal favorite of the negative) which have kept that tome from acceptance by the Bar Associations of California, Washington, and New York. Even if Black's erroneous text is accepted into the argument, The Life Aquatic broadly misses "emotional core" as defined there by failing to provide a character that "commands the audience's sympathies." Steve Zissou spends a good deal more than three-quarters of The Life Aquatic suspended beyond reach of the audience's empathy in a comatose state of emotionless, awkward-sigh-riddled self-pity. As to the bungled romantic scenario, as the film ends Mr. Anderson lets his flypaper characters collapse limply against each other, a whisper of defeat escaping their tangled bodies.

Moderator: Mr. Fretty, you may now deliver your rebuttal. May I remind you gentlemen that no new evidence is permitted in the rebuttal phase?

Affirmative Rebuttal

Simply because the instance of comedio-sonic response is too populist a meter of quality for the negative, that hardly diminishes the acuity of humor employed in The Life Aquatic. Hennessey's world-weary quip that, "I'm half-gay," the deliberately incompetent action sequences, and the fact that, coming from Klaus' mouth, "sheet" is an expletive, are comic doodles to rival any contemporary script writing. As for the "comatose state" of the Zissou character, Murray's performance overcomes any shortcomings in character development. The scene in which Zissou's earring is discarded and retrieved in the same shot is.

Moderator: This sounds like new evidence, Fretty.

Fretty: No, there's precedence in my 1AC.

Moderator: (Sigh) I'll allow it.

Fretty: In conclusion, that scene might conceivably have played as precious, were Mr. Murray's impetuous pout not so graceful, vulnerable, and true.

Negative Rebuttal

My esteemed opponent's (inexplicable) affection for the assembled cast of Aquatic has, regrettably, obscured the objectivity so necessary to the accurate assessment of a motion picture. His remarks belie an overriding appreciation for Mr.'s and Mrs.'s Murray, Goldblum, DeFoe, Huston, and Blanchett; likely he would laud any film featuring these five regardless of that film's qualitative worth as either art or commerce. The negative holds to its assertion that The Life Aquatic fails entirely to project the kind of compelling narrative "thread" necessary to the success of any feature film.

Moderator: Thank you, gentlemen, for your noble contribution to the art of discourse. And for the reader: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is the midnight movie this weekend at the Avon Cinema

Ben Arfman B'07 and Doug Fretty B'05 are all about open dialogue behind closed doors

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