“Whenever I go in there, I have to wait for an extremely long time. And when they finally give me the attention I need, I am often dissatisfied
with the quality of their leaches.”
“It’s really not a good practice to regularly misdiagnose head colds with cases of the Bubonic Plague. I hate that, in fact.”
“They’re crazy in there. I mean, one time I just wanted some aspirin for a migraine, and they gave me AIDS. I don’t know, maybe that’s where they lost the other two points. Because of the AIDS”
“Are rectal exams part of the normal curing procedure for ingrown toenails? I mean, I’m just asking, maybe they are. Are they?”
“A score of 98?!! Come on! That sounds more like their death toll!!! (Not really.)”
“I really question the tactics of the health care professionals in
Brown’s Health Services building. On one occasion I complained of fatigue,
and they began talking really slowly to me, apparently in a condescending
manner. I suggested that I might have mono, because two of my roommates
have suffered from mono in the past month. They sent me home with a
vial filled with Flintstones vitamins that had a scribbled note on it:
“pills for retards.” Again, I question their tactics.”
“I do not find Marilyn Manson, at any volume level, to be part of an
ideal healing process.”
“Despite many complaints, I believe Nurse Jenkins surely deserves a significantly high rating for being one fine piece of booty. She’s probably the only reason I go to Health Services every week.”
