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SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC: DRUNK?
by Adam Zeidel
Despite his ability to lead one of the most powerful countries in the world and his great amount of political sway, the most pressing question concerning Slobodan Milosevic is simply, “Drunk or not a drunk?” As the debate rages on, some convincing arguments fly from each side.
Drunk
I once saw him drink two whole handles of vodka, punch some whore in the face, fall down an entire flight of stairs, and then urinate all over himself.
Not A Drunk
“That was my wife, not a whore.”
--Slobodan M.
Drunk
What about the time that he declared “Smirnoff” the new capital of Siberia and the name of every Siberian’s first-born male child?
Not A Drunk
“Smirnoff is a great Siberian name, and it mixes well with orange juice.”
-- Slobodan M.
Drunk
Have you ever seen a sober man who, every morning, was legally declared dead and was unresponsive to simple stimuli until given a shot of whisky and told, “The hookers are getting restless and want to leave, Mr. President”?
Not A Drunk
“I think I might have an alcohol problem.”
-- Slobodan M.
Drunk
He is drunk right now.
Not A Drunk
“Have you ever played ’asshole’?”
-- Slobodan M..
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