Euroclass not Eurotrash

Dossier:

• Class of 2009
• Concentration: International Relations
• Not Jewish (and consequently feels like he stands out sometimes. Like someone with an accent or something.)

Insight Into My Being:

• Guy fell from the beautiful tree in July 1986, and has been hitting every branch on the way down ever since. He claims a) that sometimes hitting the beautiful branches hurts and b) that he's from 'Holland' or 'The Netherlands' or whatever that land mass on the left side of Germany is. But to let all you out there on in a little secret: we at OOB think he's actually from Trenton, NJ and is just pretending to be 'European'. Shhhh...

Easy ladies, one at a time.

Dossier:

• Class of 2007
• Concentration: I like math. So math-something. Maybe cs. Maybe econ. Maybe physics. Maybe having-a-social-life. Maybe not.

Insight Into My Being:

• Nick was born into a family of Vietnamese peasant farmers living on a small island in the Mediterranean. At the age of 17 he moved to New Jersey and promptly forgot all French, or as he says, "Whatever the hell they speak in Europe." He now speaks English with a northeast American accent and lives in Barus and Holley where no one can find him.

Unfortunately, we're not that good-looking in person.

Dossier:

• Class of 2009
• Concentration: Arts-Semiotics/Comparative Literature Respectively
• Siamese twins connected at the shoulder. We bring ethnic to the table. But wrapped in double packed plastic bags so it doesn’t smell and also with some Milanos in case someone doesn’t like Chinese. Which we aren’t. We are Siamese, if you please.

Insight Into My Being:

• (Excerpt of Biography:) Francisco Bailando's work and art is only preserved by his two sole students the Siamese twins Phoebe Neidhardt and Davis Jung. Both were orphans that were placed at his doorstep when he was 67. Training them since they could walk, both Phoebe Neidhardt and Davis Jung have become remarkable dancers in their own right and truly give honor to the progressive and liberating work that Francisco Bailando has put forth.
  After being accepted into the prestigious Brown University, Phoebe and Davis realized that as groundbreaking as Francisco's work was, his art had not managed to reach those born on the lower wheel of Reincarnation. They created the troupe Dance(Interpretive) in order to bring Interpretive Dance and its profound inspiration to the masses. After two succesful performances in the Smitty-Buonnano and The Tombstone Space, their troupe is gaining momentum in the dance scene on the East Coast. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francisco_Bailando

"Wanna get horizontal with me, baby?...oh snap!"

Dossier:

• Year: Oh Eight!
• Concentration: Undecided...but don't you worry, it'll be something good. Oh let me tell you, it'll be something good.

Insight Into My Being:

• "...In West Philadelpia born and raised on the playground's where I spent most of my days -- chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool. And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school..." Sampled from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Theme. If you listen real closely the lyrics pretty much sum up my life perfectly...well not quite...but I was born in Philadelphia! God, I love that show...

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• Stanley Bergman
• Slutty B.

Yes.

Dossier:

• Class of oh eleven
• Male
• Not Jewish, gay, or European, so how the hell is he funny?

Insight Into My Being:

• To keep his drug habit up, Dan found work as a janitor in a university building doing experiments with marijuana. After his friend was arrested for killing a diabetic police horse, he tried to post bail by selling huge amounts of weed stolen from the university building. Surprisingly, Dan found himself over his head as numerous powerful forces--the law, drug competition, a love interest, and the ever-ticking clock for his friend in jail--were closing in on his inexperienced, strung out self. But with determination and a strong heart, Dan pulled through and realized that he had been dead all along.

Random Fact:

• Dan's last name rhymes with licker. Feel free to make up as many limericks as you wish.

The placement of the white rose is symbolic of Ali's prom night. As is the video camera.

Dossier:

• Class of 2008
• Concentration: traffic cops, cowboys, or nice boys with fresh beats

Insight Into My Being:

• (See biography of Andrew Jackson)

Dossier:

• Class of 2008
• Concentration: Undecided
• Likes Coffee

Insight Into My Being:

• Her name is Kori, not to be confused with Corky, who was that kid in that TV show, “Life Goes On.” Man that show was depressing. I always felt bad for Corky, but not Kori. Kori’s nothing like Corky.

I invented Paul Wallace, and to this conception I am faithful to the end.

Dossier:

• Class of: 2008
• Concentration: Semiotics

Insight Into My Being:

• Whenever I feel like criticizing anyone, I just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that I've had.

I'm less fuzzy in real life.

Dossier:

• Class of: 2009
• Concentration: Gangster Killing/Comparative Lit/Lasers

Insight Into My Being:

• My life is not all cupcakes and Jesus juice like you might assume. They say they’re going to have a hair stylist there. There is no hair stylist, ya know. One maybe, yes, for what fifty people, you know what I mean. You gotta bring your own scissors too, they say I have misplaced my scissors. What, whoever heard of a hair stylist has no scissors? They say we just style it we don’t cut it. What? Literally they are there to cut, you know, I mean a barber is a, what, hair stylist it means a barber. Do I have my own mousse or what? Do you think I have my own mousse? I have no mousse.

After A Show I Have Been Called:

• By My Mom
• A Jerk