Alumni

Euroclass not Eurotrash

Dossier:

• Class of 2009
• Concentration: International Relations
• Not Jewish (and consequently feels like he stands out sometimes. Like someone with an accent or something.)

Insight Into My Being:

• Guy fell from the beautiful tree in July 1986, and has been hitting every branch on the way down ever since. He claims a) that sometimes hitting the beautiful branches hurts and b) that he's from 'Holland' or 'The Netherlands' or whatever that land mass on the left side of Germany is. But to let all you out there on in a little secret: we at OOB think he's actually from Trenton, NJ and is just pretending to be 'European'. Shhhh...

Unfortunately, we're not that good-looking in person.

Dossier:

• Class of 2009
• Concentration: Arts-Semiotics/Comparative Literature Respectively
• Siamese twins connected at the shoulder. We bring ethnic to the table. But wrapped in double packed plastic bags so it doesn’t smell and also with some Milanos in case someone doesn’t like Chinese. Which we aren’t. We are Siamese, if you please.

Insight Into My Being:

• (Excerpt of Biography:) Francisco Bailando's work and art is only preserved by his two sole students the Siamese twins Phoebe Neidhardt and Davis Jung. Both were orphans that were placed at his doorstep when he was 67. Training them since they could walk, both Phoebe Neidhardt and Davis Jung have become remarkable dancers in their own right and truly give honor to the progressive and liberating work that Francisco Bailando has put forth.
  After being accepted into the prestigious Brown University, Phoebe and Davis realized that as groundbreaking as Francisco's work was, his art had not managed to reach those born on the lower wheel of Reincarnation. They created the troupe Dance(Interpretive) in order to bring Interpretive Dance and its profound inspiration to the masses. After two succesful performances in the Smitty-Buonnano and The Tombstone Space, their troupe is gaining momentum in the dance scene on the East Coast. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francisco_Bailando

Easy ladies, one at a time.

Dossier:

• Class of 2007
• Concentration: I like math. So math-something. Maybe cs. Maybe econ. Maybe physics. Maybe having-a-social-life. Maybe not.

Insight Into My Being:

• Nick was born into a family of Vietnamese peasant farmers living on a small island in the Mediterranean. At the age of 17 he moved to New Jersey and promptly forgot all French, or as he says, "Whatever the hell they speak in Europe." He now speaks English with a northeast American accent and lives in Barus and Holley where no one can find him.

"Wanna get horizontal with me, baby?...oh snap!"

Dossier:

• Year: Oh Eight!
• Concentration: Undecided...but don't you worry, it'll be something good. Oh let me tell you, it'll be something good.

Insight Into My Being:

• "...In West Philadelpia born and raised on the playground's where I spent most of my days -- chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool. And all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school..." Sampled from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Theme. If you listen real closely the lyrics pretty much sum up my life perfectly...well not quite...but I was born in Philadelphia! God, I love that show...

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• Stanley Bergman
• Slutty B.

The placement of the white rose is symbolic of Ali's prom night. As is the video camera.

Dossier:

• Class of 2008
• Concentration: traffic cops, cowboys, or nice boys with fresh beats

Insight Into My Being:

• (See biography of Andrew Jackson)

Dossier:

• Class of 2008
• Concentration: Undecided
• Likes Coffee

Insight Into My Being:

• Her name is Kori, not to be confused with Corky, who was that kid in that TV show, “Life Goes On.” Man that show was depressing. I always felt bad for Corky, but not Kori. Kori’s nothing like Corky.

I invented Paul Wallace, and to this conception I am faithful to the end.

Dossier:

• Class of: 2008
• Concentration: Semiotics

Insight Into My Being:

• Whenever I feel like criticizing anyone, I just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that I've had.

Tara Ahmadinejad

Tara in the hood.

Dossier:

• Class of 2007
• Concentration: Theater and International Relations

Insight Into My Being:

• We don’t talk about Tara. It’s not so much because she’s veiled in mystery or that we are embarrassed, it’s more that we can’t say her last name. Someone tried once, and when they got back from the hospital, we all decided never to try again.

Sandra Evelyn Allen

Here is a photo of me brushing my teeth.

Dossier:

• Class o' 2009
• I'm going to declare a major someday.
• I'm going to stand up high,
• high on a hill,
• overlooking a valley,
• above the world of men,
• and I am,
• oh I will,
• in my voice oh so loud,
• declare it,
• my major.

Insight Into My Being:

• I am the inventor of wisdom and the color "green".

Sonja Drimmer

Aliases:

• Sonj
• The Sonj

Dossier:

• Class of 2003
• Concentration: Medieval Studies and Art History

Often heard saying:

• I was a mouse in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade when I was six. I bit Cinderella. No I didn't. But I thought about it. And I still do. If we had a picture of me, I would write something quippy below it.

Jordan Elkind

Dossier:

• Class of 2008
• Concentration: Political Science and Economics

Insight Into My Being:

• Jordan’s a musical genius. Like, take your favorite song and Jordan could have written it, except if he wrote it, he would have made it awesome. Think, like, “Yanni as a ninja” awesome.

Jonathan Ellis

Sealed for freshness.

Dossier:

• Webmaster
• Class of 2006
• Concentration: was a good game show. But I can't decide whether Hugh Downs or Alex Trebek was better.

Insight Into My Being:

• As a proud OOB representative of the Class of 2006 -- the best class ever, according to one Michael Goldberger -- Jonje brings a wealth of talent, mostly in website design, to the group. He has awarded himself critical acclaim for his high school theater work, and his one-man show, Jonathan Ellis Pretends to be Bea Arthur for a Couple of Hours, is currently an off-Broadway smash hit. He is looking forward to his years here at Brown which are sure to be filled with sketch comedy and admiring women from afar.

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• Jonje

Ezra Flam

Dossier:

• Class of 2005

Insight Into My Being:

• (Ezra wasn't around to provide us with any insight)

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• Mrs. Nixon

Jamie Fleischman

She had to sleep with Warhol for this.

Dossier:

• Class of 2005
• Concentration: English

Insight Into My Being:

• A native of New York City (but really born in Marlton, New Jersey...shhhh), Jamie began seducing Harvard boys when she was 17. A sucker for quiche, men who are good with their hands, and Real World marathons (particularly the Miami season), Jamie enjoys Cadbury's Cream Eggs and doing laundry on a Saturday night (especially when she gets all the lint off the dryer tray in one piece).

Rosa Handelman

I dress like this everyday.

Dossier:

• 2007 Transfer baby (that means I have more 'life' experience than you)
• Concentration: Looking hot and a little bit easy, but still a lotta bit classy. Keeping shit on the REAL.

Insight Into My Being:

• One November morning, in the wee hours of the night (?) a small child was born. Despite her beautiful features the doctor feared that she would one day turn into a Michigan Wolverine fan, and thus unattractive. Thankfully this child turned not only into a fan of the one and only Ohio State Buckeyes, she also remained attractive. She can now be found today contemplating her good fortune, while also staring at others and counting the seconds until they stare back, a favorite game of hers.

Rafe Judkins

This picture is only for people who are googling me and don't care about Out of Bounds. Aren't my teeth white? Aren't my eyes blue? Whatever you're googling me for: the answer is YES.

Dossier:

• Freedom History: If I could be any dinosaur, I would be a dragon.

Insight Into My Being:

• I don't like Herman Melville. Or Herbie the Love Bug for that matter. I do, however, enjoy Lindsay Lohan.

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• He Said (of He Said, She Said)
• the Giant Clitoris
• Also, people with geographically untraceable accents

Steve Kalmakis

You don't have to be funny when you're beautiful.

Dossier:

• Class of 2006
• Webapprentice
• Concentration: Engineering and Economics, but looking to switch to Engineering and Economics.

Insight Into My Being:

• ". . . During his journey, Steve stopped once at Burger King for an irresistible Hot N’ Spicy BBQ Bacon Burger (available for a limited time only), where an unruly group of toddlers gave him the worst noogie of his life and stole his shoes. Fashioning footwear from what ended up being a less than satisfying meal, Steve trudged on until he reached the state of Rhode Island . . ." (For more details read Steve’s autobiography, Meat Moccasins.)

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• David, Owner of David's Bagels
• Trippy McFallsalot
• Announcer Guy

Claire Karpen

Dossier:

• Class of 2004
• Concentration: Theater and English

Steve Kilar

Aliases:

• The Kila

Dossier:

• Class of 2005
• Concentration: English and Expository Writing

Often heard saying:

• A native of Midland, MI, Steve spends his time writing dirty poetry while pretending to be F. Scott Fitzgerald and searching for pirate treasure. He wants to be an expatriate version of Faulkner when he grows up.

Lauren LeFranc

I crave intimacy and sometimes small people dancing on my face. I guess it's kind of the same thing.

Dossier:

• Class of 2005
• Concentration: Anthropology - Linguistics with a focus in Culture, Communication, and Performance (Could my major be any longer? Well, yes, it could....)

Insight Into My Being:

• Originally from Sunny California, Lauren has always enjoyed television shows like Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, and the recent hit The OC for their accurate depictions of life in the “CA.” Lauren was proudly held back in Kindergarten because she was “not socially ready,” and began her experimentation at age three by stealing a pair of metal scissors from her older brother, and then forcefully sticking them into an electrical socket. Hours later, when the fire was put to rest, Lauren discovered she had a gift for crude, tasteless humor. And so, after years of streetwalking down Cul-de-sacs, only to turn around, she joined Brown’s premiere Sketch Comedy group, Out of Bounds.

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• Dirty Little Girl
• Mary Kate Olsen
• Hoshanna (He Said/She Said)

Adam Lewis

Ohhh! How glamorous!

Aliases:

• Box
• BoxTree
• Meathook

Dossier:

• Webmaster's Lackey
• Class of 2003
• Concentration: Economics

Often heard saying:

• Yes, I'm weird. But I'm GOOD at it.

Annie Lewis

Dossier:

• Class of 2005
• Concentration: Annie Lewis.

Insight Into My Being:

• Annie’s a Jew. Actually, most everyone in Out of Bounds is a Jew (that’s where we get our funny), but somehow, Annie’s the Jewiest.

After A Show Someone Has Called Me This Because They Didn't Know My Real Name:

• Mrs. McNeal
• Carrie

Judson "Judd" Merrill

Aliases:

• Hey, you. Yeah you, Shithead.

Dossier:

• Class of 2003
• Concentration: English

Ryan O'Grady

Alex the Basset Hound. The Love of My Life.

Dossier:

• Class of 2005
• Concentration: Theater and English

Insight Into My Being:

• One time a monkey bit me, really hard too. Her name was Conchita The Orangutan.

Sarah Sussman

Dossier:

• Class of 2006
• Concentration: International Relations

Insight Into My Being:

• Smoking her corncob pipe by starlight, Sarah enjoys ruminating on the solipsistic notion that there can be no thoughts, experiences and emotions other than her own ... after which she sighs and returns to watching Sex and the City reruns.

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