Isn’t it amazing how much gets crammed into the last two months of the year?
Most of us probably think of Halloween as a cute event at the end of October, that lets young’un’s dress up in fanciful attire, and get sugar highs for weeks afterwards. But…pay close attention to what they say at your door…. “Trick or Treat!”. That’s not only a request for candy. It’s a warning for what lies ahead in the coming weeks – the holiday goblins of November and December!!!>
November starts calmly enough… but it’s misdirection! No sooner do the pumpkins start to decay, but we think, “Oh, what Thursday IS Thanksgiving this year?”. The invariable answer is, “OMG! THAT SOON????”. (The goblins start laughing!). And, as if preparing for Turkey-Day isn’t daunting enough, we start having nagging thoughts about December, “Am I behind in shopping?” (yes) “Did I save enough to pay for presents?” (no) Will I max out my credit cards? (of course!) “Who should I buy for?” (too late to ask, buy for them all!). The holiday goblins DVR us in November so they can watch us go frantic, and play the videos at their own holiday parties.
We stagger through Turkey-Day. Any help with dishes? Good luck! Tomorrow – Black Friday… to shop or not to shop? You KNOW that Black Friday is a creation of the goblins – shop at your own risk! But…less than a month until the December holidays. Goblin babies are born in July… do you feel like you’re tripping over crawling goblin babies as you rush like a demon just to have a calm holiday? Oh… those holiday decorations you packed so carefully last year, that are hopelessly tangled this year… yes, the goblins at work. You’re sure you had wrapping paper, but it isn’t there now… yes, the goblins. You had greeting cards that are now water-stained… yup, nuff’ said. Your holiday treats won’t rise in the oven? G-o-b-l-i-n-s.
By the way… for those who wait until the last minute to buy December holiday presents and think you have the system licked – the holiday goblins wear t-shirts with your faces, and carry voodoo dolls and pinch pins into them for the entire coming year! Goblins don’t play favorites.
So, as we move into the end of the year, I will simply say… “Trick or Treat!” BWAHAHAHA! Now, if you don’t mind, I have a goblin party to attend, highlighting DVRs from last year! My advice… make the Club one of your “Top Seven” for dining, and sign up for Breakfast with Santa, or “the goblins will get’cha if you don’t watch out!”
-- Bill Rakowski, President of the Brown Faculty Club