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Return to Equinoxes, Issue 3 : Printemps/Eté 2004
Article ©2004, Brenda Glover
I pulled at the threads of memory until I found the life, or maybe only the tension in them. I began the work of remembering, weaving thoughts and feelings onto a loom strung with something ... hard and inescapable. I used the shards of memory as a way back to that world and the life we lived there. … I was up against other skin, other minds, other wishes and fantasies. The process of writing, of dipping the pen in the ink, clacking away on my old electric typewriter, took me into a re-imagined past, rich with detail, at once a gift of imagination and held in a bedrock that I don't think I can call truth, but is related to truth. (Modjeska, Timepieces 73-74)
Australian historian and author, Drusilla Modjeska, when writing Poppy, which she intended as a biography of her mother's life, found difficulty in constructing a "truthful" narrative of a woman's life, particularly one she was so close to. The text became a blend of biography, autobiography, memoir and fiction, that managed to convey a sense of the "truth" of the author's mother's life, but also became more than a biography. The text's generic blurring had the effect of providing the reader with a sense of connection, community and a deeper knowledge of familial relationship with all its inherent unresolved conflicts.
Canadian author, Carol Shields, when writing Unless, encountered problems that included an inability to write her experience of terminal cancer and her associated sense of grief and personal loss, directly. Her final strategy was to write grief and loss through a more indirect means, by constructing a fictional narrative in which the central character, a writer, experiences a different kind of grief and loss, through which Shields is able to fulfil her need to express those issues. Shields effectively foregrounds one woman's experience of grief and loss in order to demonstrate a broader dynamic: the exclusion of women from full participation and recognition in the arts, a problem that continues to impact women in patriarchal societies of the twenty-first century.
In writing the novel, "Buttoned Up," which was initially intended to be autobiographical, I encountered similar difficulties. My experience of struggling to construct a "truthful" narrative from fragments of oral histories, unreliable memories and knowledge of my culture and its impact on women appears to mirror that of Modjeska and Shields. Rather than writing biography, the result of my endeavour is a mixture of memoir, biography and fiction that could best be described as "fictionalised non-fiction." I realised in the research phase of my writing that it would be inappropriate and insensitive to tell the stories of women who did not want their experiences exposed to public scrutiny. "Buttoned Up" has become an attempt to represent the lives of a particular group of Australian women "truthfully," based on knowledge of some of their experiences, but as imagined reality rather than as a representation of their "true" lives. The following discussion of the novel combines a review of the text superimposed with a personal "voice" elaborating my experience of writing a novel alongside critical research into the process of women's writing.
The novel, "Buttoned Up," foregrounds the lives of five Australian women, in a maternal line, across the past century, demonstrating the kinds of social changes that have affected the ways in which women view themselves and their place within their communities.
When I began to research material for my novel, I intended it to be largely based on biographical information. I wanted to write about the types of women I knew, particularly strong capable women who had interesting lives and had experience that related to my critical research area. That was my intention. The realities brought me to an abrupt halt.
My maternal relatives employed passive resistance to thwart any effort I made to elicit information from them about their lives. Most of them did not appear to trust me to write in a form that would be acceptable to them. There were unproductive meetings and some amusing incidents relating to my search for personal narratives that might become a part of my novel, but it seemed that all I could acquire was information on electricity and refrigeration. The family history that was collectively presented to me was sanitised to the point of absurdity. (Glover, 105)
Fragments of the life-stories of the five central characters in "Buttoned Up" are narrated by Lilly, a young woman looking at women of her family and remembering snippets of experience, gossip and anecdotes she heard as she interacted with relatives at family gatherings, along with tales that have been recounted as lessons for the children.
I still wanted to write about strong Australian women, presumably ordinary women, whose lives were rich in relationship and activity. I wanted to write about women negotiating their way through the gendered constraints of their times to achieve in the creative aspects of their lives. I hoped to demonstrate a gradual movement towards self-actualisation evident in many young contemporary women. If it couldn't be through biographical writing, because the family objected to my presumed representation of their lives, then it would be through fiction.
The decision to write fiction freed me from the constraints being imposed on me by family anxiety. Two female relatives gave me permission to write their stories. And there was one story of a woman long dead that I felt needed to be told as it was representative of the kind of hardship endured (as a matter of course, and without complaint) by women of her times and circumstances. Choices had to be made about how I would approach this material and utilise it in the larger narrative that was in its formative stages. It was enough to begin.
When my mother read some of my writing, she was clearly worried about how I would represent recognisable places and people. I sympathised with her concern, but considering my massive shift in narrative treatment of the material, I began to resist the pressure to conform with family ideals of what my novel should be like. (Glover 106)
To dare say anything that is not said. We often forget what this act still represents for so many women, especially when it must be done in front of or for an unknown public. Writing is above all releasing oneself from external censorship. This task, which men don't accomplish without difficulty, demands even more from a woman for whom the margin of social acceptability remains minimal. (Minh-Ha 130)
This was the most insidious censorship of all, too close to resist with ease, too tied to issues of loyalty and care. I was aware that many women grappled with such concerns and very often it prevented them from writing what they needed to write or silenced them completely. I had no intention of allowing this to happen to me. (Glover 107)
Lilly appears to be a confident and articulate storyteller, though she makes it clear that, while the stories may be based on truth, they are naturally distorted in the re-telling. Lilly has used her imagination to fill in the gaps and silences that are inherent in any anecdotes told in her family, and the reader's attention is drawn to this at times by her comments on the stories as she tells them: "I made this part up. It's a romantic story and I fancy my mother had some romance in her younger days" (Glover 107). Lilly is interested in the character and activities of her female relatives and marvels at the way in which they managed their lives. They seem to have had far less opportunity than she has to do the things they might have desired, yet their lives were rich. She marvels at their toughness and resilience.
Though not entirely biographical, "Buttoned Up" contains elements of fictionalised biography, anecdotes of known events that have been constructed to have a particular narrative effect. For the most part, the stories are the product of my imagination but they are at times based on the lived experience of others. And the device of letter and diary writing has been utilised to demonstrate the inner life and thoughts of some of the characters, as well as their connection to one another. So "Buttoned Up" has become a combination of biography, autobiography, memoir (life-writing) and fiction. I consider it a novel, and would encourage readers to read it as a work of fiction, but these nonfictional elements are an essential part of the text, and will remain recognisable to those who are familiar with any of the base anecdotes. (Glover 107-8)
The stories that Lilly narrates are fragments of individual experience from the lives of her mother, Sally, her grandmother, Violet, her great-grandmother, Elizabeth, and her great-great-grandmother, Martha. By revealing significant segments of these women's experiences, the conditions under which they lived and some of the ways in which they negotiated a path for themselves within the constraints of their particular times, many aspects of women's life experiences are revealed. "Buttoned Up" is character-centred and action-driven, though these are not the actions of adventure novels. The stories focus on inter-generational and domestic issues surrounding the lives of women whose activities are predominantly concerned with family and community, but whose dreams and desires, on occasion, drift towards broader, less accessible and perhaps less socially acceptable, horizons.
Mary G. Mason (1980) outlined a theory of relationality in women's writing that has some bearing on my experience of attempting to represent the lives of known women in my novel. Mason argued that 'women's alterity informs their establishment of identity as a relational, rather than individuating process' (Smith & Watson, 8). My consideration of women's lives and creativity was based on my personal experience, as well as the experiences of the women of my family and the broader community that I had observed across a lifetime. I found myself more able to write about others than I was able to write about myself. But in the act of creating a novel, it was impossible to avoid writing my self - through my perception, my sensibility, my knowledge of people and place and behaviours, my view of the world and the way people operate within their communities, and through my imagination.
My motivation for writing the lived experience of the kinds of women I had known was initiated by my appreciation of their value to community and family, as well as my admiration for the courage and strength they demonstrate through adversity. It was my connection to them and their way of life that appealed to me, even though at times I am critical of their behaviours and attitudes. The tension that arises between my occasional disapproval and general admiration is a good base for my writing.
It is unfortunate that my family remains suspicious of my motivations for wanting to create literary representation of their lives and characters. They know me as well as I know them. Their mistrust arises from their discomfort at my perceived feminism. Taking pride in their goodness and being regarded as 'pillars' of their communities, they are also secretive about any aspect of their lives that may not stand up to critical scrutiny. I decided that my request that they open up to me was unreasonable. Even with sustained explanation of my intentions, it was evident very early in the research process that they could not support any work that would make public any aspects of their private lives.
I felt extremely uncomfortable attempting to sustain a position against their collective will. And I was conscious of my lack of expertise when it came to having the confidence to produce a literary work that would honour their wishes and not cause them distress. My relationship to this community of women, borne of indoctrination into a female sense of duty to family and community and a general renunciation of self-interest in the process, operated to prevent me from pursuing my initial goal of writing the women of my family into a position of public scrutiny. (Glover 108-110)
In "Buttoned Up," the first-person narration by the youngest central character, Lilly, reveals the life experiences of five Australian settler women across a century in both rural and metropolitan settings. Focus on fragments of their lives serves to remind readers that it was not always possible for women to remain confined within the constraints of civilised expectations of female behaviour, engaged in those activities deemed appropriate to their sex - cooking, sewing, housekeeping, gardening, craft-work, church work and care of family and community. Settler women in the past, particularly on the land, were required to take on whatever task was required of them to maintain property and sustain lives, to survive in an alien environment. There was evidently constant tension between social expectation and obligation, and the reality of women's daily lives.
In her research of Australian women's journals, Katie Holmes notes that many of the diaries written by a range of women across varying situations in the 1920s and 1930s appeared to be "integrally linked to the spaces they occupy, the locations they live in and their biological possibilities ... Generally these women constructed themselves within the models held up for them to emulate: white, young and sexually desirable, a good mother, an efficient housekeeper, a devoted wife."(1-18) In many cases the ideals did not accord with reality and one purpose served by diary writing was to impose some control over individual life, a method of negotiation between feminine ideals advocated by community, and lived experience. Social dictates on women's behaviour and appearance, time management and focus are revealed in many of the journals, but in a journal, anything is possible. The writer may choose to construct a fictionalised self for the purpose of fulfilling female ideals on the page, even if unable to fulfil those ideals in real life.
Reasons for writing, regardless of gender, are as varied as individuals and their situations. Putting pen to paper, or fingers to the keyboard, must begin with a sense of self as significant, and a desire to note down aspects of individual experience that are deemed important to the writer.
In approaching the traditionally masculine domains of critical research and literature, I found that journal writing allows a focal point of negotiation with unfamiliar territory. By articulating the experience of the project in which I have been involved, journal writing has enabled me to self-regulate focus and direction. (Glover 111-12)
Martha's daughter, Elizabeth, first seen as a babe in arms in Martha's story, is introduced in the section of "Buttoned Up" titled "All things bright and beautiful" as a seven-year-old child becoming aware of some of the harsher aspects of rural life. Elizabeth, too, marries into her community and settles on the land, alongside her husband, Ted, on a farm that produces wool and wheat. Elizabeth is shown to be strong-willed and more self-absorbed than her mother. Life doesn't quite go to plan for her. She gradually realises that she is barren, a stigmatised and alienating condition in her conservative community. The way in which she manages her situation is demonstrated through her private diary entries, a strategy that reveals Elizabeth's inner life and machinations that don't always match her behaviour. And her behaviour is not always exemplary.
The routine hadn't changed since Elizabeth was herself a child so she could sympathise with the wriggling, sniggering shorter members of the congregation. She could remember how hard it had been to pay attention to the serious intent of the rituals, not to daydream, or be distracted by old Mrs Harding's tremor, or Mr Vicker's Adam's apple jiggling when he sang and prayed under his breath. Years of sitting on the edge of a giggle, or repressed tears when her ear was tweaked, or arm pinched or hand squeezed tightly by tight-lipped parents, had left Elizabeth slightly bemused about church. (Glover "Buttoned" 70)
Elizabeth's story provides the reader with some insight into cultural expectations of women to marry and bear children (to carry on the family name) and the possible impact of infertility on the individual who is unable or unwilling to comply.
But when it comes to children and art, there have probably been more women who have painted without children than there have been mothers who were artists. And it is easy enough to wonder if it is only with the absence of children that a woman's art can flourish. (Modjeska, Stravinsky's Lunch 20)
Violet's story is one of a talented emerging artist who goes against the wishes of her family to pursue an education for herself in the city. She creates her own opportunity to experience the joy of participation in a world she could merely dream of as a girl on the land, only to find herself in a position where she must choose between her newly discovered artistic potential and domestic commitment.
Violet's daughter, Sally, tackles different issues as she grows up in the fifties and sixties and juggles life that moves between country and city. The rapid social change that took place in western nations in the 1970s, with the advent of the Women's Liberation Movement, had an enormous impact on women's sense of self and the way that they lived their lives. Accessible, safer contraception allowed more active management of individual fertility. Western women were liberated from the very real sexual inhibitor of unwanted pregnancy and so began to participate more freely in sexual activity and experimentation. In "Buttoned Up" Sally's lapse in propriety demonstrates a reversal of the traditional treatment of infidelity usually contained in novels, that of a woman being seduced by a man and 'falling by the wayside' as a result. Sally is a willing and active participant in this particular story, and it is not she who 'falls'. By treating love and desire in this manner, the author draws attention to the double standards that existed at that time in relation to female sexuality in Australia. The ambivalent position of the narrator with regard to Sally's story would suggest that such aberrant female behaviour remains a contentious issue in contemporary Australia.
Through the story of Sally's life, the reader is provided with some insight into the changing social expectations of female sexual behaviours and the impact this may have on individual women struggling to juggle family and professional life with personal desire.
I made a conscious choice about the style of the novel. I knew what I wanted to write about and it seemed important that the subject matter should be accessible to a general reading public, not limited to a literary audience. So the style and tone of the novel had to be simple, clear and accessible to those who did not have the advantage of a tertiary education. Some of the ideas I hoped to incorporate into the novel that were the result of my research and my personal ideology, would have to be presented in an accessible form to a broader reading audience. I also felt that academic discourse should be made more accessible to the general public and that there could be an effective way to manage this through writing fiction that interwove some of the ideas that are engaged with in tertiary institutions. This was the challenge I was conscious of setting for myself. (Glover, 115)
The use of life-writing in "Buttoned Up" serves to reveal aspects of the characters' thoughts, dreams, and strategies for coping with their lives that add an extra dimension to understanding their concerns. Letters are constructed more formally than personal diaries that are not intended for other readers, but letters may reveal a great deal about the writers and their relationship to the intended recipient. For example, when Elizabeth writes to her mother, Martha, to inform her that she and her husband are applying for adoption of a baby, it is clear that she is seeking approval and acceptance of her plan.
Dear Mother
It's been ages since I wrote to you, but I think it pertinent that I should
now - rather than ringing, with anyone on the party line able to listen in.
Ted and I have some good news. We have decided not to wait for a baby of our
own and we're attempting to adopt a child. I know what you'll say, Mother -
that I'm being hasty, that we haven't given it enough time. ... Wish us well.
Please? ... I hope you'll be happy for me. And pray for us, won't you? (Glover "Buttoned"
87-88)
The tone of the letter is formal, yet personal, and reveals Elizabeth's need for affirmation from the woman who is closest to her, that she is 'doing the right and proper thing'. Women are complicit in the exercise of constraint on other women's behaviours and adherence to established conventions of appropriate gendered behaviour. In her diary, Elizabeth reveals more of herself, but she makes it quite clear that this writing is for her eyes only.
Dear Diary
I've decided to write down details of my life that I don't want to discuss with
anyone. Private things. If anyone ever finds this diary, I beg you not to read
further. I'll hide this book where hopefully no-one will find it and will write
it in secret when I can find the time. I've been married to my husband, Ted,
for two years and two months now. We're happy, I think though there are times
that I irritate him and times when I daydream about not being married at all.
... There is something missing from my life. I worry about this. I worry that
I might have made a mistake in marrying Ted, that he'll not be able to make
me really happy. I know it's bad to think this way, but sometimes I can't help
it. ... I want to be like everyone else, to have children. But it's not happening.
What's wrong with me? It must be my fault. (Glover "Buttoned" 75-6)
By demonstrating the contrast between Elizabeth's writing of a letter to her mother that seeks support and Elizabeth's diary writing that exposes her personal feelings about marriage and her desire for a baby, the reader is shown different aspects of her character, aspirations and relationships.
The writing of a journal throughout the process of my doctorate assisted me in working through many of the challenges that arose. As my research demonstrated, life-writing may be: the means of ordering one's experience; a conversation with the self or others about central concerns; an imaginative space in which ideas can be tested; a way to inscribe the present as important and immediate; a space that is free from observation and criticism; and a site where a personal narrative can be constructed that may not necessarily mirror reality. Women have typically written journals or diaries that served to order their lives, marking their experience and desires. In many cases journal and letter writing were the only means by which they could write themselves as central to their world, a public voice being denied them. (Glover 117)
The author exposes the changing nature of correspondence across a century, from the conventional letter-writing between Martha and her mother, to the more personal letters of Elizabeth to her mother and finally, in the allusion to emails between Lilly and her mother, Sally. Regardless of the nature of the correspondence, there is a clear desire for conversation and connection between the women. Such inter-connectedness is a vital element in their relationships and in female community. It indicates women's dependence on one another for support, understanding, acceptance, and an ongoing education of women by one another towards appropriate cultural standards and acceptable behaviours.
No literature is created in a vacuum. Each constructed text reflects the positioning of the author: their geographical location, culture, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, social position, occupation, education and level of literacy, the resources available to them, and their exposure to other literatures. By telling stories of the preoccupations and life and death struggles of Australian settler women, the author locates them within national and global histories. The cyclic repetition of women's lives creates an evolving pattern through which social changes that impact on the characters are apparent. Women's stories are foregrounded in "Buttoned Up," rather than being secondary to masculine histories of exploration, adventure, politics, public achievement and scientific endeavour that have dominated Australian national narratives.
Brenda Glover is currently teaching in the Writing and Contemporary Culture program at the University of Technology, Sydney, and the Creative Writing Program at Macquarie University, Sydney. Her Ph.D. was conferred at Flinders University in South Australia in 2003, the topic being post-colonial women's writing.
Glover, Brenda. " 'Battened Down and Buttoned Up': Postcolonial women's writing: a comparative study of Australian and Canadian settler women's life-writing and fiction." Diss. Flinders University, 2002.
---. "Buttoned Up." Manuscript, 2002.
Holmes, Katie. "Making Time: representations of temporality in Australian Women's Diaries of the 1920s and 1930s." Australian Historical Studies 26, 102: 1994. 1-18.
---. Spaces in Her Day: Australian Women's Diaries of the 1920s and 1930s. St. Leonards, Australia: Allen & Unwin, 1995.
Mason, Mary G. "The Other Voice: Autobiographies of Women Writers." Autobiography: Essays Theoretical and Critical. ed. James Olney. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1980.
Minh-Ha, Trinh T. "Unwriting /Inmost Writing." When the Moon Waxes Red: Representation, Gender and Cultural Politics. New York: Routledge, 1991.
Modjeska, Drusilla. Poppy, Australia: Penguin, 1990.
---. Stravinsky's Lunch. Sydney: Picador, 1999.
---. Timepieces. Australia: Picador/Pan Macmillan, 2002.
Shields, Carol. Unless. Canada: Random House, 2002.
Smith, Sidonie, and Julia Watson, eds. Women, Autobiography, Theory: A Reader. Wisconsin: University of Wisconsin Press, 1998.