Can I really help someone who is trying
to quit smoking?
Yes. Once
a smoker has decided to quit, he is most likely to make it when
friends and family give their help and support. If your friend has
not yet made up his mind to quit, you can help him think of his
own reasons for quitting, set a target quit date and offer to help
in any way he asks.
How do I begin?
First
of all, quitting is different for each smoker. So, ask your friend
how you can be most helpful. This will show that you care and that
you really want to help.
Maybe
you've already tried to help a smoker and they weren't successful.
That's okay. Remember you can be a big help, but it's not your fault
if the smoker doesn't make it.
What kinds of things can I do to help
the smoker trying to quit?
Tell
your friend that you think she can make it this time - even if
she has tried to quit before and failed. In fact, most smokers
have to "practice" quitting a few times before they
quit for good.
For
the first few days after the smoker quits, be ready to help. He
may want to talk all the time or he may just want extra help when
a tough situation comes up, like a coffee break, a party or after
a meal.
Offer
to call or visit to check on how she is doing. Ask how she's feeling,
not just whether or not she's still off cigarettes.
No
nagging, scolding or preaching - this just does not work. Instead,
let him know how much you admire him for trying to quit. Let him
know that you care about him whether he quits or not.
Give
lots of praise and offer rewards for getting through a day, a
week, or a month without smoking. Rewards can be simple - flowers,
something to eat, a card.
Give
rewards right away. Giving rewards right away works better than
rewards promised for the future.
Offer
to do things together like eating in a nonsmoking restaurant,
going to a movie or for a walk.
Try
to see it from your friend's side. He's not really sure he wants
to quit. Cigarettes have been a steady friend for a long time.
These feelings are normal even in smokers who succeed. Let him
know you understand his doubts.
My friend is really worried about gaining
weight. What can I say?
Some smokers
do gain weight when they stop smoking but they are still much better
off without smoking. Sometimes when people stop smoking, they really
want sweet foods. You can help your friend stay away from sweets.
Offer her low-fat snacks like carrots, fresh fruit, plain popcorn
or sugarless gum.
Exercise
really helps to keep weight down. Offer to do things together where
smoking doesn't fit in - swimming, jogging, or brisk walking.
Can I help my friend plan how to handle
urges to smoke?
Yes. In
fact, those who succeed in quitting plan ahead about how to cope
with urges to smoke. Encourage your friend and offer to help him
think up some simple things that he will do when he gets an urge
to smoke. Here are a few ideas:
Call
you when she feels the urge to smoke. Remind her that the urge
to smoke will pass in just a few minutes - whether she smokes
a cigarette or not!
Leave
the place that makes him want to smoke. For example, a party where
alcohol is served may make him want a cigarette. Go for a walk
around the block, or better yet, stay away from parties and alcohol
for the first few weeks.
Do
some deep breathing if she is feeling tense. Breathe in and breathe
out slowly to bring more air into the lungs, which will help your
friend relax.
What if I get annoyed when my friend
is tempted to smoke?
Try to
stay with it. You're doing a great job! Your friend is trying to
break an addiction to cigarettes that may have started several years
ago.
Be prepared
for some unfriendly and even nasty behavior from your friend. He
is going though a tough time. Tell him that you still care about
him even if he is acting badly. Remind yourself that you are doing
a great thing by helping your friend and that the bad times will
not last long.
Encourage
him to talk about how he is feeling and then listen to what he says.
Give him your attention. Laugh at his jokes and praise him as often
as you can. You can also ask your friend to tell you when he is
doing OK so you can feel good and take some credit for his progress.
Do smokers really have withdrawal symptoms
when they quit?
Many smokers
do have symptoms during the first few weeks after they quit. Some
common ones are:
Trouble
sleeping
Lack
of concentration
Feeling
anxious or restless
These
will go away as the body gets rid of the nicotine. Other symptoms
may be harder for you to handle. Your friend may be grouchy, irritable,
nervous or pushy. Try to forgive him.
Tell
your friend you know that these symptoms are real and that they
will not last long. A week or two may seem like a long time, but
it will get better.
I quit
smoking a long time ago. Should I tell my friend it was pretty easy
for me?
Quitting smoking is different for every one. You can be a special
help to your friend since you already went through it. Let your
friend know how glad you are that she is trying to quit and praise
how well she is doing. Ask how she is feeling and what you can do
to help.
Mention
all the good things you have felt since quitting. Short-term things
are easier to understand -- like fresher breath, more energy and
no more smelly clothes, stained teeth or fingers. Many ex-smokers
talk about getting control of their lives when they quit.
Forget
any talk about how easy it was for you to quit. Most smokers are
addicted and it's hard for them to quit. Instead, tell your friend
that 45 million Americans have quit smoking and that she can do
it too.
I've never smoked. Can I really help
a friend stop smoking?
Yes, you
just need to listen to him and encourage him to express feelings
and then, give him lots of sympathy. Did you know that it's not
willpower that helps smokers quit? Most are addicted to cigarettes
and have a really hard time quitting on the first few tries.
You can
also encourage your friend to get help from the resources and web
sites listed below.
I'm a smoker myself. Can I do anything?
You don't
have to quit to be of help. You could really help your friend by
not smoking around him. You could also think up new nonsmoking activities
to replace those where you smoked together.
The best
gift you could give your friend and yourself is to quit smoking
now. Your friend is more likely to stay off cigarettes if you are
not smoking. Married ex-smokers are more likely to go back to smoking
if their husbands or wives smoke. If you decide to quit, be sure
you and your friend ask others to help you as well.
What do I do if my friend starts smoking
again?
Forget
about blame or guilt. He is really learning how to quit -- he is
not failing. Remind him about how well he did do. Each time he tries
to quit is a step forward. Help him figure out what led to his relapse
and plan what he will do next time in that situation. You may feel
badly if he doesn't quit. The best thing to say to your friend is,
"Good try! I still care about you and will help you next time."
Try to
feel good yourself about all your efforts to help. You can prepare
together for the next time your friend tries to quit smoking.
How long do I need to help my friend?
The first
7 to 10 days are the toughest and your friend may need extra help
then. Most smokers who go back to smoking do so within the first
three months. So, you need to keep in close touch for that time.
"Slips"
(having a puff or smoking one or two cigarettes) are pretty common.
If your friend has slipped, you can remind him of all the good reasons
to stay quit. Praise all his nonsmoking efforts and don't mention
the "slips."
Ex-smokers
may have an urge to smoke for months, even years, after they stop.
This is normal and should not worry her. Remind your friend that
these urges happen less and less often. You can also help celebrate
nonsmoking anniversaries.
You deserve
a lot of credit for helping someone stop this addictive habit. Your
help can make the difference. Those who are able to stop smoking
are the ones who get help and encouragement from friends and family.
Resources 1-800-TRY
TO STOP (1-800-879-8678)
This helpline provides referrals to local programs, phone counseling
and can mail out information packets. It is free, confidential and
available in English and Spanish. Monday through Thursday, 9am
to 7pm and Friday 9am to 5pm.
University
Health Services
401.863-3953
Confidential medical care, including prescriptions for Zyban. Pamphlets
on quitting smoking available throughout the building. Located at
13 Brown Street on the corner of Brown and Charlesfield Streets.
An online, interactive quit site developed by the Massachusetts
Department of Public Health. The Quit Wizard will help you assess
your risk factors, set a quit date and keep you smoke free. Other
features include success stories, expert advice and a bulletin board.
There are many language options including Spanish, Korean, Chinese,
Hatian-Creole, Russian and Portuguese.
This site
allows you to set goals, design your own personalized quit plan,
find out about nicotine replacement therapy and read up on quitting
options. There is a smoking cessation support group and articles
on the latest news, like facts about nicotine water.
Run by
Boston University, Quitnet offers quitting guides, personalized
quit plans and forums with expert counselors.
Disclaimer: Health Education is part of Health Services at Brown University. Health Education maintains this site as a resource for Brown students. This site is not intended to replace consultation with your medical providers. No site can replace real conversation. Health Education offers no endorsement of and assumes no liability for the currency, accuracy, or availability of the information on the sites we link to or the care provided by the resources listed. Health Services staff are available to treat and give medical advice to Brown University students only. If you are not a Brown student, but are in need of medical assistance please call your own health care provider or in case of an emergency, dial 911. Please contact us if you have comments, questions or suggestions.
