“One Last Gasp”
By gosh and golly… Gee willikers! Or, as Gomer Pyle would say in that popular 1960’s TV series…. “Surprise… Surprise… Surprise!”
Ya’ll thought you got rid of me after the March/April Newsletter, eh? Ya’ll thought it would be that easy, eh? Little did you know that Club Presidents hang on by their fingernails, like rock climbers scaling the Devil’s Tower in the Bear Ridge Mountains of Wyoming! In fact, I haven’t cut my fingernails for the past 6 months, in anticipation of just such a situation!
So… I hang here, precariously poised on the cliff between the end of my Faculty Club Presidency and the unknown, menacingly beckoning future of retirement. However, the Summer of 2016 also awaits the Faculty Club and you – our members. Of course, the Club is neither unknown nor menacing, so you’re two-up on me already! And, in truth… I hope that your support of the Club over the summer will be the “wind beneath my wings” and therefore my own support, so that my grip on this cliff can stay firm until I release, and then my flight into retirement will be smooth. Yes, dear friends… after all these years as President of the Club, my safety and security are in YOUR hands… your hands that use the phone or tickle the keypad, to get into contact with the Club and make a reservation, register for an event, or set up your own event.
YIKES! My fingernails are starting to slip… so let’s be blunt…I don’t have much time left. Well, we can’t be totally “blunt.” “Blunts” aren’t recreationally legal in Rhode Island yet. But that’s unimportant for now <wink, wink!>. What IS important is that our members keep in touch with the Club over the summer.
PLEASE…PLEASE… PLEASE…. Save this Newsletter to check for upcoming events over the summer, and check the Faculty Club’s website, too.
Hey! Who’s that climbing up underneath me? Holy Cow! It’s Joe DiMartino… the incoming President. I think he’s trying to rescue me. Ya’ know, he is that kind of guy! A truly stand-up fellow!
But, Joe… gotta tell you, dude… I’m just spoofing the membership with this Prez Message. I’m gonna be BASE-jumping from here into retirement. Sorry you climbed all the way up here, but I’m ready to push off. OH WAIT… gotta grab a handful of those “blunts” and float on the “wind beneath my wings” that our members so generously give us by their use of the Club!
So, dear friends and Club members… I know that I’m as silly as an Adirondack loon. But, some identity is better than no identity, right? And loons are a protected species (I hope!). Once again, welcome to President Joe DiMartino, and thanks to you all for your patronage of the Club. Remember… TOP S-E-V-E-N-N-N--n-n-n-nnnn.
-- Bill Rakowski, President of the Brown Faculty Club