Stalking behavior can take many forms and can vary greatly from situation to situation. Some common stalking behaviors include:

• Following you and showing up wherever you are.
• Repeatedly sending letters, emails and unwanted gifts.
• Repeatedly asking you out.
• Repeatedly calling you, including hang-ups.
• Causing damage to your home, car, or other property.
• Monitoring your phone calls or computer use.
• Using technology, like hidden cameras and computers to track you down.
• Driving by or hanging out at your home, school, or work.
• Threatening to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
• Finding out about you by using public records or on-line search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting your friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers.
• Other actions that control, track, or frighten you.

To an outsider, the stalker's behavior might appear friendly and unthreatening, for example, showering someone with gifts or flattering messages. But, these acts are intrusive and frightening if they are unwelcome to the victim.

Stalking behavior patterns closely mirror those common in abusive relationships. The pattern is usually triggered when the stalkers' advances toward their victim have been rejected-whether the stalker is seeking to establish a personal relationship or continue a previously established relationship against the wishes of the victim. The stalker may first attempt to woo the victim into a relationship, perhaps sending gifts like flowers or candy. When the victim rejects their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation. Intimidation may begin as inappropriate intrusion into the victim's life and these contacts may become more numerous and intrusive over time, until the behaviors form a persistent pattern of harassment. Many times, harassing behavior escalates into threatening behavior. These threats may be direct or indirect, explicit or implied by the stalker's conduct. Cases that reach this level of seriousness are particularly dangerous and can become violent.

While this progression in behavior is common, no stalking case is completely predictable. Some stalkers may never escalate past the first stage. Others jump from the first to the last with little warning. Others regress to previous stages before advancing to the next. It is not uncommon for stalkers to intersperse threatening or violent episodes with flowers and love letters. 

If you are being stalked, trust your instincts and don't downplay the danger. Consider taking some or all of these steps:

• If you have not already done so, assertively communicate that you want the behavior to stop and set and maintain personal boundaries.

• Try not to allow yourself to be isolated with the person.

• Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support.

• Stalking behavior can be confusing and it can be challenging to sort out what's happening. For confidential support, you can contact the SHARE Advocates in BWell Health Promotion at 401.863-2794 or Counseling and Psychological Services at 401.863-3476.

• Memorize DPS's numbers and put them in your cell phone: 401.863-4111 (emergency) and 863-3322 (non-emergency). You can also call DPS from any of the blue-light phones on campus.

• Try not to walk alone, particularly at night. Utilize Safewalk (401.863-1079) and safeRIDE(401.863-2322) to navigate the campus or make plans for friends to accompany you.

• DPS also has a resource, the Brown Guardian, you may want to consider using in which you can set a timer between destinations. If it is not deactivated within that timeframe, DPS will be called.

• It is also a good idea to make a record of the stalking behavior. Keep a log including the date, time, what happened and the names of anyone who witnessed the incident. Save any packages, letters, messages or gifts from the stalker. Save all voicemail or text messages from the stalker.

• If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are and should seek help. Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship. Don't confront a stalker. Go to a safe space and call the police.

• The Office of Student Life may be able to provide you with a no-contact order if the stalker is another student. Call 401.863-3145 and ask to speak to the Dean of the Day.

For more information and support, Brown students can contact the SHARE Advocates in Health Services at 401.863-2794 for a confidential meeting to discuss options available to promote your safety. Also, the Department of Public Safety Crime Victim Assistance Unit at 401.863-2542 provides specialized services. Their services include victim advocacy and support, safety-planning, information and assistance with protective orders. You are not required to file a police report in order to access these services.